Ben's Top 5 Most-Wanted Movies Inspired By Popular Websites

Just sitting here on this lazy Saturday night, listening to Trent Reznor's awesome soundtrack to THE SOCIAL NETWORK (which, by the way, you should really be seeing tonight instead of sitting around reading this blog), and thinking about other movies inspired by popular websites that I'd like to see.  Wait... what's that? You'd like to see a top 5 list? Well, glad you asked, 'cause I’ve got one. Ready? GO!

5.  A TESTIMONIAL TO FRIENDSTER -- A once fun, cutting-edge world becomes a desolate, post-apocalyptic wasteland almost overnight after precious resources are discovered elsewhere.  A handful of survivors linger, only to find themselves on the run when an army of extraterrestrials come down and claim the land for themselves.

4.  THE HAMPSTER DANCE... OF DEATH! -- Sometime in the not-too-distant future, a plague of man-eating rodents wreak bloody havoc on a sleepy Midwestern town.  The fabled Hampster Dance theme, thought to have been long forgotten since the late 1990s, will be a maddening death knell to all who hear it.

3.  THE BASTARD SON OF THE LORD HOMEPAGE: THE SECOND COMING -- A raunchy sex comedy and unflinching commentary on religion starring Nicolas Cage as Jesus H. Christ, Russell Brand as Satan and Jason Bateman as webmaster Steve.  The movie will be lambasted by Christian groups and the Pope himself, but the song "Put a Little Christ in You," as performed by the Magnetic Fields, will be nominated for a Best Original Song Oscar.

2.  GEOCITIES: THE MOTION PICTURE -- A computer geek is accidentally sucked into an alternate dimension filled with flashing lights and mismatched colors and bizarre images and endlessly repeating bits of music and sound clips and frames and pop-ups and things that have absolutely nothing to do with anything... and as he tries desperately to escape, he slowly descends into madness.

...and finally....

 
1.  A VERY OKCUPID MOVIE -- Basically the story of my love life between 2003 and 2008.  Starring me as me.  Rated R. ;)

Okay, Hollywood, get crackalackin’!!

Ben's Top 5 Most Memorable Childhood Movie/TV Moments

The other day on Facebook, I mentioned that I'd watched the original V miniseries over the weekend (in preparation, as it turned out, for the new series that premiered last night), and commented that the scene in which the evil alien commander, Diana, eats the guinea pig probably ranks as one of the top 5 most memorable movie & TV moments from my childhood. And that got me to thinking... what are the other four?? Well, I've delved into the recesses of my mind and found the five scenes that most affected me as a child and -- for better or worse -- helped mold me into the man I am today. Here we go....

5. E.T.: THE EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL (1982) -- You know the scene where Elliott's brother finds E.T.'s pale, lifeless body at the bottom of the ditch? I distinctly remember sitting in the movie theatre as a five-year-old and bawling hysterically. These were no run-of-the-mill kiddie tears, though. No, this was probably the exact movie moment that turned me into such a softie and made my heartstrings so damn easy for movies to pull. Thanks a lot, Spielberg!

4. V (1983) -- I was only six when V was unleashed over the TV airwaves, but I distinctly remember watching it with my cousins and freaking out when Diana ate that damn guinea pig. Granted, it didn't turn me into a superfan, and in fact I didn't watch it again in its entirety until a few days ago... but it was one of those things that stuck deep into my subconscious mind and would pop up to the surface every once in a blue moon and I'd shiver at the thought. Definitely one of the greatest and scariest revelations in TV or movie history.

3. POLTERGEIST (1982) -- Jeez, take your pick of the scenes from this movie that have haunted me throughout my life: The evil toy clown. The scary-ass tree. The guy ripping his own face off. But the one that always gets me is the big corpse-riddled climax. "YOU MOVED THE HEADSTONES BUT YOU DIDN'T MOVE THE BODIES!!" To this day, this movie (and this scene in particular) is pretty much my standard by which all scary movies are based. I've spent most of my adult life practically begging horror films to scare me as much -- but so far, nothing has come close.

2. FAMILY TIES (1985) -- Remember the episode where a tuxedo-clad Alex P. Keaton races to the train station where he hopes to intercept Ellen and stop her from marrying another guy? And when he finds her there, he pours his heart out to her for the first time and discovers that she feels the same way and they get together? Well, I do. As a kid, I loved FAMILY TIES and idolized Michael J. Fox -- and not only do I believe this to be the defining moment of the show, but it was a defining moment of my young life. In many ways, the buildup of their relationship, highlighted by their emotional dance (with "What did you think / I would do at this moment..." playing in the background) and culminating with Alex's dramatic outpouring of emotion, directly influenced my own romantic views and, occasionally, actions throughout my life. (Not to mention the fact that Alex & Ellen's relationship was the product of a distinct thunderbolt, since Alex initially planned on dating her roommate, only to be knocked for a loop when he met Ellen!) So, girlfriends past and present, now you know what to blame!

...and finally....

1. RETURN OF THE JEDI (1983) -- This one should come as no surprise to anyone who knows me... and if you are a heterosexual male child of my generation, it may be your #1, too. I'm referring, of course, to Slave Leia. Carrie Fisher as Jabba's prisoner wearing the gold bikini was the hottest thing I'd ever seen in my young life, and it filled my six-year-old loins with my first feelings of lust before I even knew what it all meant. The moment that particularly gets me is after Leia kills Jabba and joins the battle. Luke instructs her to "Get the gun! Point it at the deck!" She circles around to the nearby cannon, and in doing so, her skimpy loincloth flutters up just enough to glimpse some serious skin. How much of an impact has this had on my life? Let's put it this way: Petite, curvaceous, dynamic women with long dark hair have long been my physical ideal. Coincidence? I think not!

Honorable Mentions:

THE NEVERENDING STORY (1984) -- Lots of important moments in this movie, ranging from Falcor's flight to the Rock Biter's lament ("They look like good, strong hands... don't they?") to Gmork's revelation... but Bastian's encounter with the Childlike Empress is the most notable for me, for one reason: If Slave Leia gave me my first feelings of lust, then the Childlike Empress was my first crush!

BUILD-UP TO WRESTLEMANIA III (1987) -- Hogan vs. Andre is widely considered to be the most important match in pro wrestling history. But to me, even more memorable than the match was the moment on Piper's Pit when Andre shocked the world and officially turned heel. As a nine-year-old who worshipped Hulk Hogan and loved Andre, watching the Giant join forces with Bobby Heenan, rip Hogan's shirt and gold cross and throw them to the floor, and seeing Hogan drop to his knees in sadness was almost too much to bear!

RETURN OF THE JEDI (1983) -- Yes, again. I mean, really, I could break down this whole movie scene-by-scene and determine how each was memorable -- it was the most-watched movie of my childhood and remains my favorite STAR WARS film. But the final duel -- Luke vs. Vader, with the Emperor looking on and dispensing his memorable taunts -- is the greatest sequence in movie history, and fills me with as much awe today as it did when I was six.


Ah, time is up... how much do I owe you for this therapy session, doctor? I mean, um... there you have it! Now let's hear some comments, criticisms, etc. -- which scenes would make your lists?

Reliving the Top 5 Worst Mets Games I've Ever Attended

Well, the Mets just beat the Yankees 6-2, and much of the anger, despair and devastation I felt after last night's ridiculous, inexcusable, crushing defeat has been swept away (or at least, under the rug) with a nice rebound win. Not the first time I've experienced that myriad of emotions in a 24-hour period and probably not the last. So, yay, and LET'S GO METS! But still.... goddamn, that was a rough loss, and it got me to thinking... over the years, I've reminisced and written a lot about the BEST and most memorable Met games I've ever attended, as I have been fortunate to have attended many. But how about the WORST games that I wish I could forget? Indeed, I have attended my fair share of those, too... and I think the time has come to take a sordid trip down bad memory lane. Mets fans, grab a bottle of vodka and join me if you dare....

HONORABLE MENTION: GLAVINE'S INAUSPICIOUS METS DEBUT (3/31/03) -- Perhaps the most miserable live baseball game experience I've ever had. Opening Day '03 was bitterly cold and windy -- I think it was, like, 7 degrees outside, seriously -- and in the very last row of the Upper Deck, it felt even colder. The Mets introduced their latest acquisition, former hated Atlanta Brave, Tom Glavine..... who then got shelled and couldn't get through the 4th inning. Not a good start. The Mets ended up losing 15-2 to the Cubs (my first Opening Day loss since my streak began in '98), but my friends and I left after the 6th inning, which, in itself, is almost unthinkable. And of course, it's interesting to note that Glavine's Met career began almost as horrendously as it ended on the final day of the '07 season -- I'm still convinced that he was working for the Braves all along and was only here to sabotage the Mets from within. Dammit.

5. ONE OF MANY ARMANDO MELTDOWNS (6/14/02) -- Armando Benitez blew so many important and crushing games for the Mets, and I'm sure there were others that I attended that I have forgotten or simply blocked out... but this is the one that most comes to mind. On a rainy, nasty night at Shea, the Mets were clinging to a 2-1 lead over the Yankees. Steve Trachsel battled into the 6th and the bullpen kept the Yanks at bay, with Armando entering in the 8th to get out of a jam. But in the 9th, Armando gave up a game-tying hit to Derek Jeter that deflated the Mets faithful and brought the Yankee fans out of hibernation. Then in the 10th, to add insult to injury, the Yanks took the lead on a two-run homer by none other than former Met favorite Robin Ventura. Ouch.

4. FRANCO SUCKS THE LIFE OUT OF SHEA (9/18/98) -- Fresh off an amazing, dramatic series in Houston, loaded with game-tying homers, walk-off bombs, clutch pitching performances and more, the Mets came home and were greeted by the first legitimate playoff-like atmosphere at Shea in years. They were in the thick of the post-season hunt -- and earlier in the day, the Cubs had lost, so if the Mets won, they would suddenly be TIED for the wild card spot, and the crowd knew it. I was there, in the field level (courtesy of a college friend who had access to primo seats), and the place was simply electric. This was really the first time I'd experienced such a feeling in my adult life, since the Mets had sucked for so long. The Mets held a 6-4 lead in the 9th and handed the ball to John Franco...... who promptly coughed up THREE runs, giving the Marlins the win and basically crushing any hopes we may have had. Though the Mets came back and won the next two games vs. the Marlins, they ended up losing the final FIVE games of the season to the Expos and Braves (despite only needing ONE win to force a three-way tie with the Cubs and Giants) and the first of many disappointments to come over the next 11 years was complete.

3. 2000 WORLD SERIES, GAME 4 (10/25/00) -- The first and only World Series game I've ever attended. It sucked when the Mets lost the first two games of the Subway Series at Yankee Stadium, but we felt a glimmer of hope when they came back and won Game 3 at Shea. We figured, hey, if we can win Game 4 and tie this thing up... well, who knows. Unfortunately, the game got off to a bad start with Jeter homering on the very first pitch off Bobby Jones. The Yanks took a 3-0 lead before Mike Piazza jolted some life into the crowd with a bomb of his own. But then came the key moment that will forever live in infamy in my mind. I never considered Joe Torre to be a good manager -- to this day, I maintain that he was, at best, a mediocre manager who happened to be surrounded by awesome teams. (Hell, I could've managed the '98 Yanks to a World championship.) But in this game, Torre made the one truly smart managerial move of his Yankee career: In a key spot in the 5th inning, with Piazza at the plate, he yanked Denny Neagle and brought in none other than David Cone.... who proceeded to induce a harmless fly ball and get out of the jam. The Yanks won the battle of the bullpens the rest of the way, won the game, and of course, won the World Series the next day.

2. WAGNER MELTDOWN vs. THE YANKS (5/20/06) -- Pedro pitched a gem for 7 innings and Duaner Sanchez kept the Yanks at bay with an easy 8th. With a 4-0 lead, everyone figured they'd bring Sanchez back to start the 9th and keep Billy Wagner ready just in case. But no -- "Enter Sandman" began to play and here came Wagner in a non-save situation. Red flags immediately popped up in the back of our minds, but we figured, naaah, we're safe. Well, we weren't. Two hits, 3 walks, a hit batsmen and 4 earned runs later, Wagner walked off the mound having suffered one of the most monumental meltdowns I've ever seen and the crowd sat in stunned disbelief. The Yankees ended up winning in the 11th... and I trudged back to my apartment and this is what happened next.

...and finally....

1. 2006 NLCS, GAME 7 (10/19/06) -- After Endy's catch set the crowd into a state of pure bedlam, after Shea shook like I'd never felt it shake before, 56,000 fans were convinced that the World Series was within our grasp. But then, Aaron Heilman served up a two-run homer to Yadier Fucking Molina and you could feel the air get sucked out of the place. I'll never forget the pathetic, "...no...!" that squeaked out of my throat when that ball sailed over the wall. It was like being punched in the gut. But still... in our minds, there was NO WAY we could lose this game after that Catch. Molina's homer was just one last bump in the road to victory. After all the stirring comebacks throughout the year... hell, it was the 20th anniversary of 1986!... all the signs pointed to a Mets miracle. But then came the 9th, and... well... yeah. The Mets get two men on base, but Willie plays with his heart instead of his head by letting banged-up Cliff Floyd swing the bat instead of bunting the runners over. (Yes, it would have been an unspeakably awesome Kirk Gibson moment if he'd launched a walk-off bomb, but come on.) Then, with the bases loaded and two out... Beltran... ughhh. Carlos, I know that Wainwright's curveball was a killer, but couldn't you have at least TRIED to swing? Even if you were nowhere close, it might've hurt a TINY bit less if you'd at least made some kind of effort. And who knows, maybe you would've gotten some wood on it and found a hole. But no.... with the bat on his shoulder, Carlos struck out with the bases loaded and the Cardinals celebrated while we all stood there in stunned disbelief. I know I haven't fully recovered from this defeat yet, and I think it's safe to say that the Mets haven't, either. Ugh.


Um, yeah, so there you have it... now let's move along. And as always, no matter how difficult it gets and how bleak it looks... BELIEVE!

Ben's Top 5 Best (and Worst) Things About Citi Field

The Mets opened Citi Field's shiny new gates to the public for the first time on Sunday, March 29th for a Big East college baseball game between St. John's and Georgetown. I was there, and I have to admit, it was one of the more surreal experiences of my life. I've attended hundreds of games at Shea Stadium over the years, fell uncondtionally in love with the place, and cried my eyes out during the farewell ceremony at the end of last season. I knew that it was going to be difficult to not only accept this new ballpark, but to simply endure it. From the moment the 7 train made the final approach to the newly-named "Mets-Willets Point" subway stop, it was rough. I looked out the train window and the first thing I saw was one last pile of rubble, smattered with blue durasteel -- all that remains of good ol' Shea. And then, a moment later, emerging in all its new-fangled glory... CITI FIELD.

I know, I know... I'm sure the place will grow on me over time, but my first impression was... well... a little mixed. So as we welcome the start of the baseball season, let's take a look at my Top 5 Best (and Worst) Things About Citi Field:

BEST

5. MORE SPACIOUS GROUNDS OUTSIDE -- Back in the day, it would get cramped very quickly when approaching Shea, especially when there was a packed house. There were twists and turns and narrow staircases and walkways to deal with before you even got to the entry gates. At Citi Field, you simply walk down the new subway steps and into anopen expanse of land, perfectly suited to accomodating the 44,000 people that will be there almost every day. Should never get too cramped -- in fact, it should be downright pleasant and scenic, since the stadium itself is very pretty indeed. And then there's the Fanwalk, a collection of personalized bricks surrounding the stadium entrance. This makes for a very cool and interesting nostalgia trip, since 90% of the bricks make reference to Shea and other aspects of Mets history. My friends and I bought a brick of our own, and it was a thrill to finally see it in the ground. Plus, unlike at Disney World, where the supply of brick space is pretty much endless, at Citi Field there is a limited supply, so it feels even more special!

4. THE PEPSI PORCH -- This is nifty and probably my favorite new physical feature of the stadium. The right field stands overhang the field by about 8 feet, so deep fly balls that would be long outs in most ballparks could now very well be homers. I hope this doesn't hurt the Mets more than it helps them... but it is an awesome place to sit, with an interesting perspective. Wonder who will be the first Met to launch one into the Porch? (My money is on Carlos Delgado after he gets a hold of one!) Plus I like the big Pepsi-Cola sign!

3. SHEA NOSTALGIA -- A brand new, larger, shinier Home Run Apple has been installed beyond the center field fence, which is nice. But if you explore the deepest nooks and crannies of the stadium, you will find a section called the Bullpen Gate, where you can not only watch the bullpens in action up close and personal..... but you can also find the ORIGINAL Shea Stadium Home Run Apple in all its top-hat glory! It is pretty awesome, and made me very happy to see it. Another Shea artifact that made it is the NY skyline that used to sit atop the giant scoreboard -- it now appears above the Shake Shack and Blue Smoke concession stands, complete with the ribbon over the Twin Towers. Definitely a nice touch. (I was there during the day, but I wonder if they turn on the lights at night?) Lastly, I believe the plan is to mark the former location of Shea's home plate and bases in the parking lot where they once stood, so people can pay their respects at any time. Nice.

2. FOOD, GLORIOUS FOOD -- Simply put, the culinary options at Citi Field are VAST and RIDICULOUS. Pretty much every kind food you can imagine is available, and it all looks really, really good. You have your usual ballpark grub, like hot dogs and pretzels and stuff. But then you've got a tremendous variety of specialty foods and brand-name establishments. The most noteworthy addition is the unparalleled SHAKE SHACK, which makes my mouth water just thinking about it. Right next door, there's Blue Smoke, a BBQ joint where I intend to get a pulled pork sandwich at the next opportunity. Around the corner, there's a Belgian frites place, complete with dipping sauces, as well as a Mexican place that looks mighty good. The list goes on. But perhaps the best new culinary feature at Citi Field is... wait for it... SELF-SERVE HOT DOG TOPPING STATIONS. Seriously, I was probably TOO excited about this. Gone are the days at Shea when you could only top your hot dogs with crappy ketchup, mustard and relish packets. Now you can go to one of these stations and load up your dog with fresh saurkraut, onions (chopped & grilled), relish, jalepenos, lettuce, tomato and more. It is AWESOME. And since the hot dogs cost the same as they did at Shea ($4.75), you are actually getting MORE bang for your buck. NOW THAT'S AMAZIN'.

...and the very best thing about Citi Field is....

1. IT'S A GREAT PLACE TO WATCH A BALLGAME -- Seems like this should be a no-brainer, but you never know these days. Fortunately, I explored the whole stadium and caught a glimpse of the field from pretty much every section, and there really isn't a bad seat in the house. The field is lovely and there are are no obscured views that I could find. Because the stadium is much smaller and more "intimate," you really do feel closer to the action from every vantage point (though this does raise a whole other issue, which we will discuss in a moment). My Saturday plan seats are in the third-to-last row of the Promenade (the uppermost level of the stadium), and the seats are probably equivalent to my old Mezzanine seats, which is not too shabby. Even the center field bleachers somehow feel closer to the action. The seats are comfy (even the cheapest ones), with individual drink holders, and they are angled towards home plate for easy viewing. So, yeah... yay, baseball!

WORST

5. NOT ENOUGH SEATS -- I mentioned how Citi Field is small and intimate and thus you feel closer to the action, which is good... but on the other hand, I always loved sitting in the Upper Deck at Shea because tickets were cheap and plentiful, and though you were far from the field, you could still see everything and it really wasn't THAT bad. So the question is, would I sacrifice Citi Field's intimacy if I could get back the missing 12,000 seats, thus ensuring that I could snag an affordable ticket to a game any day of the week? The answer to that is a resounding YES.

4. TOO MANY BELLS AND WHISTLES -- There is so much stimuli in this stadium that you could conceivably spend an entire day there and never catch a glimpse of the ballgame. Hell, if you make a beeline for the Shake Shack/Blue Smoke pavilion, you could go an entire day without even seeing the field! I realize that's the way it is with new stadiums nowadays, as they try to make them more "family friendly" or turn it into an "experience" or whatever... but it's a damn shame. When I was there, I overheard a kid ask his parents (who were enthralled in all the sights & sounds of the stadium), "Are we ever going to watch the game??" It was funny but also a little sad, because I bet the answer will often be "no!"

3. IT'S REALLY JUST ANOTHER "COOKIE-CUTTER" PARK -- The problem with all the new "retro" stadiums nowadays is that while they are very nice and comfortable and have their little quirks here and there, overall they look pretty much the same. I've been to the stadiums in Philly, Cleveland, Milwaukee and Pittsburgh and they are all more or less interchangeable. Unfortunately, Citi Field falls into this category, as well. It has its quirks -- the Home Run Apple and Pepsi Porch and such -- but otherwise, it's more of the same. The look of the scoreboard, the drab green seats, the aforementioned bells & whistles... I've seen it all before. Say what you want about Shea, but at least it had some unique character! From the multicolored seats to the giant scoreboard to the open-air outfield to the neon ballplayers...for better or worse, there was no other ballpark like it. But there are several other ballparks like Citi Field, and I'm sure there will be even more as time goes on.

2. THE PLACE WILL NEVER SHAKE -- One of the coolest things about Shea was that when the crowd was really rockin', the stadium would literally SHAKE under your feet. I experienced this phenomenon many times, including the 10-run inning, the '00 NLCS clincher, Endy's catch, and more. There was really nothing like it... and it's a shame to think that even when the Mets are leading with two out in the 9th in deciding game of the World Series with K-Rod on the mound and the crowd is in a mad frenzy of blissful delirium....... Citi Field will be still.

...and the absolute worst thing about Citi Field....

1. IT'S A GREAT TRIBUTE TO THE STORIED HISTORY OF.... THE DODGERS -- I realize that the stadium is modeled after Ebbet's Field and the rotunda is a tribute to Jackie Robinson, all part of Fred Wilpon's childhood Brooklyn Dodger fantasy. But jesus, last I checked Citi Field was the home of the METS... yet there are Dodgers references EVERYWHERE, from the video screens in the rotunda showing Jackie Robinson clips, to friggin' Dodgers t-shirts for sale in the Team Stores. It's one thing to have "Brooklyn" t-shirts with Jackie's name on them... it's another thing to have an entire rack of stuff that actually says "Dodgers." I am kind of afraid of what it will be like the first time the Dodgers visit Citi Field -- I think their fans will have a field day and make themselves at home, and it is going to suck. This really is a big problem that needs to be addressed. Tone down the Dodgers stuff, for God's sake. You can still call it the "Jackie Robinson Rotunda" if you must, but maybe get rid of the Dodgers video clips! Oh, and while you're at it, how about adding some more stuff about the METS?? I think it's safe to say that they've managed to cobble together a pretty storied history of their own, but when I was there last Sunday, there wasn't a single banner, poster, sign, or any kind of tribute to Mets history. Nothing about '69 or '86... nothing about Seaver, Darryl, Piazza or Wright... NOTHING! It was very disconcerting. Now, I think this may have been a work in progress -- at the time, they hadn't put up the retired numbers yet, either, and I see that those are now there -- and I think they now have some sepia-tone banners around the outside of the park. So maybe next time I go to Citi Field, there will be Mets stuff all over the place. God, I hope so, or we're going to have a serious problem!


All in all, the park is very nice and I am excited to watch 16 (at least) games there this season, thanks to my 10th straight season as a Saturday ticket plan holder. I am also hopeful that many of my concerns will be rectified, or prove to be nothing more than unfounded pessimism. And of course, while Citi Field will never, ever replace Shea Stadium in my heart, it will be a lot easier to get used to the place if the Mets bring home a World Championship... so.... BELIEVE!

(By the way, for a full photo gallery of pics from my first Citi Field Experience, CLICK HERE)

Ben's All-Time Top 5 Superhero Movies

As you may or may not be aware, a little film called WATCHMEN opens at midnight tonight, and it has caused quite a stir throughout the comic book geek community. I have never read this book, and indeed, I know very little about the subject. But apparently it's, like, the holy grail of comics... the comic to end all comics... the comic by whose greatness all others are measured... you get the picture. Well, I will be seeing this movie on Saturday in all its IMAX glory, and I will try to have my unbiased, untarnished review for you at that time. But for now, just for kicks, in honor of this highly-anticipated release, let's take a look at my All-Time Top 5 Superhero Movies. Ready? GO!

5. SPIDER-MAN 2 (2004) -- The SPIDER-MAN trilogy is a mixed bag. I loved the first half of the first film but thought the second half was severely flawed. The third film was an epic disaster on practically every level. But the second film was when Raimi & Co. managed to get everything right. It strikes a perfect balance of action, drama, humor, inner turmoil, webslinging... basically everything you could possibly want from a Spider-Man movie. Plus Dr. Octopus is easily the best villain in the trilogy, and one of the most kick-ass comic book movie villains ever.

4. BATMAN (1989) -- Spare me your arguments about how and why THE DARK KNIGHT is the greatest Batman movie ever. The one I keep coming back to is Tim Burton's version, with Michael Keaton in the title role (still the best portrayal of both the Dark Knight and Bruce Wayne thus far) and of course, Jack Nicholson as the Joker. Is it as dark, visceral and gritty as Nolan's opus? No. But to me, it's just flat-out more fun to watch, and if I sit down to watch a Batman movie, that's kind of what I'm looking for. Plus, with all due respect to Heath Ledger's Oscar-winning performance, I think that Nicholson's Joker is just as iconic and even more quotable. I'll take "Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?" over "Why so serious??" any day!

3. UNBREAKABLE (2000) -- Man, remember when M. Night Shyamalan was one of the best filmmakers in the world? Unfortunately that streak only lasted for two years and two movies... and one of them is one of the best superhero origin stories ever. It's about an everyman who comes to realize that he has real-life superpowers -- and his polar opposite (read: arch-nemesis) who is cursed with brittle bones but superior intellect. Sound familiar? The film is a study of superhero mythology and the relationship between hero and villain, and it is, in my opinion, Shyamalan's deepest and most masterful work.

2. THE INCREDIBLES (2004) -- Now that I think about it, I wonder if this movie was directly influenced by WATCHMEN, what with its vision of a society in which superheroes are forced into exile by a fickle public. Whatever the case, this was my favorite Pixar film until WALL-E took over the reigns last year, but it is no less of a work of absolute genius. Bob Parr used to be known as Mr. Incredible, the greatest of all superheroes... but is now forced to live a mundane life as an insurance salesman with his family, all of whom are also blessed with superpowers that must be suppressed. But when a mysterious call to action turns out to be a trap set by an old nemesis, it's up to the entire family to show their true selves and save the day. This is Pixar at its best, and sheer perfection on every level.

...and finally...

1. SUPERMAN (1979) / SUPERMAN 2 (1981) -- I have been a Superman fan for pretty much my entire life, and in my opinion, these first two films are nothing short of the end-all/be-all of all superhero films... the ones by which all others are compared. Christopher Reeve may have been the single greatest bit of casting in movie history -- he IS the Man of Steel. The first film is a masterpiece, from the opening scenes on Krypton with Marlon Brando, to young Clark Kent coming of age in Smallville, to the scene where Superman catches Lois Lane in midair after a helicopter mishap -- "You've got me? Who's got you?!"... it's sheer poetry. And then comes SUPERMAN 2, which takes things up a notch by bringing in three awesome supervillains, led by Terence Stamp's iconic performance as General Zod. While it was cool to see Superman go up against Luthor's evil genius in the first film, it was even cooler to see people throwing buses at each other. And that classic John Williams score doesn't hurt, either!


Okay, now I know that a lot of you will have some things to say about this list, so come on and let me have it! I'm also thinking that I'd like to make this "All-Time Top 5" thing a regular feature here at BenLikesMovies.com (yes, a tribute to one of my personal All-Time Top 5 movies, HIGH FIDELITY). Probably too ambitious to say that it'll happen once a week, but who knows. Anyway, if you have any ideas for Top 5 lists you'd like to see, by all means let me know!