Random POTTER Thoughts: Films 1 thru 3

Revisiting the first six films in preparation for the midnight screening of HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS: PART 1 later this week, and here are a few miscellaneous thoughts that have been popping into my head as I make my way through the epicness:

• SORCERER'S STONE remains an excellent, albeit imperfect, intro to the films. All of the first appearances of major (and minor) characters, locations, items and events are appropriately awe-inspiring and geek-out-worthy.

• Would have been cool to actually SHOW what the Sorting Hat saw when it made its decisions about where to place each student. As it stands, it’s a prime example of the filmmakers being way too literal and slavish towards the books. (No coincidence that the movies started to REALLY get good when they started thinking outside the box a bit!)

• Saw on IMDB that John Hurt, who played Ollivander in #1, is reprising the role for #7. That is some good continuity.

• CHAMBER OF SECRETS is still the weakest of the series, but it’s actually much better now that we know what we know.

• While I am a fan of Michael Gambon's Dumbledore, I can't help but think about how awesome Richard Harris would have been in the later films.

• Remember when gaining & losing house points was important? Seems like such small potatoes compared to, y’know, battling evil and saving the world. (Quidditch, too, kinda got old pretty fast.)

• Of all the impeccable (and fortunate) casting decisions throughout the series, how lucky were they that the kid who played Dudley stayed big & fat all these years? Gotta wonder if he was contractually obligated to NOT work out and lose weight… or if he made the decision himself to ensure he kept the role!

• Love the shot in AZKABAN of the bird flittering around the Hogwarts before fatefully flying right into the Whomping Willow. Little random bits of whimsy like that are what make take the third film to a whole other level of awesomeness.

• AZKABAN probably has the best musical score of the series -- tremendous stuff from John Williams.  Ever since he left the series, the scores have been decidedly unremarkable… which is why I was excited to learn that Alexandre Desplat is scoring HALLOWS PART 1.  Should be good, but I’d still love to see Williams come back for Part 2, though.

• How great is the scene in the Shrieking Shack, where Lupin, Sirius and Pettigrew’s history is revealed? Though, gotta wonder why the heck Lupin & Sirius couldn’t just immediately let Harry, Ron & Hermione that they were good guys, rather than acting so vague and ominous.

• Sirius rules.  And Werewolf Lupin would kick Taylor Lautner’s candy ass.

• Basically everything about AZKABAN is superior to the first two films in every conceivable way. So good!!!

God, I love these movies.  Be back soon (perhaps) with thoughts on 4, 5 and 6!

Milestones for Disney and Me

In June 2000, I moved out of my parents’ house in NJ and into an apartment in New York City. I had always loved going to the movies, but now, living in a city with a movie theatre on every other block, showing everything from current blockbusters to indie darlings to old-time classics… well, it unleashed the beast inside me. I started going to the movies voraciously (abetted by my girlfriend at the time, who was equally into it), and by the end of the year, I saw ninety-something movies and it was awesome. Then in 2001 (a remarkable year for movies, I might add, led by AMELIE, THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING, MOULIN ROUGE and THE ROYAL TENENBAUMS, all of which made my top 25 of the '00s), I went even crazier and saw over 100 movies for the first time and ended the year with an astonishing 120 big screen experiences. I’ve seen over 100 movies every year since, but never really came close to breaking that record...

That is, until this year. And yesterday, Wednesday, November 10 at 7 p.m. at the Loews Orpheum Theatre on 3rd Avenue between 86th & 87th, I saw my 121st movie of 2010, breaking my long-standing big-screen record. I know... kind of insane that I’ve already seen that many movies and there’s still over a month and a half left in the year. Not really sure why this year has been so substantially more prolific than any other year (though you can bet I’ll try to figure it out when all is said and done), but there it is. The old record has finally fallen and a new one will now be set with every movie I see between now and December 31st. Who knows where the final total will end up! I am a madman… a madman who likes movies!

So, what was the record-breaking movie, you ask? Well, in a way, it’s poetic. On top of being a movie-lover, you may also be aware that I am a die-hard Disney aficionado -- so I was thrilled to receive an invite to an advance screening of TANGLED, which happens to be Walt Disney’s 50th Animated Classic! Based on the story of Rapunzel, it feels more like a classic Disney fairy tale than anything we’ve seen in many years. Much as I enjoyed THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG, it was a more modern tale -- but TANGLED is a good old-fashioned Disney princess story in every sense, and it is a wonderful triumph in pretty much every possible way.

Whatever John Lasseter has been doing since taking the reigns at Disney, it’s working wonders. He’s only credited as the Executive Producer, but from a storytelling standpoint, Pixar’s influence is all over this movie -- not just creatively, but fundamentally. From the plot to the situations and action sequences to the characters, dialogue and voicework, it really feels like Disney has experienced a rebirth under this new regime. Going back to their roots is a big part of it. TANGLED has all the elements that made films like SNOW WHITE, CINDERELLA, SLEEPING BEAUTY, THE LITTLE MERMAID and BEAUTY AND THE BEAST great: There's a magic kingdom (complete with a palace that invokes Disney castles of yore), a captured princess, a wicked stepmother (of sorts), wacky supporting characters (drunken bar thugs!) and of course, some animal friends (a sword-fighting horse!). Fantastic score & original songs by the great Alan Menken, too, which is key to any true Disney classic. The heartfelt “When Will My Life Begin,” creepy “Mother Knows Best” and hilarious “I’ve Got a Dream” are all catchy, memorable and worthy of the Disney songbook.

The whole 3D kick has been getting real old, real fast, but this one was definitely done right. Tremendous use of depth -- the dam break and lantern festival are two particularly noteworthy sequences. Definitely worth the extra few bucks (though that’s easy for me to say since I saw it for free). As for the animation itself, I admit, it's a shame that it’s not hand-drawn… but it’s solid CGI that was painstakingly made to LOOK like traditional Disney animation, and it looks good indeed. As is the case with pretty much any Disney film, there’s never any doubt that you are, in fact, watching a Disney film. Whether it’s CINDERELLA or THE LITTLE MERMAID or even a stinker like HOME ON THE RANGE, a Disney movie is a Disney movie and there’s something magical about that.

TANGLED is funny, poignant, a little dark at times and loaded with great moments (glad they kept in the iconic line, "Rapunzel, let down your hair!" -- I remember hearing that they were thinking of not including that, which would have been ridiculous). It contains zero pretense or tongue-in-cheekiness -- which, as a vintage Disney fan, makes me very happy. (There's even some old-fashioned Disney political incorrectness: I was a little surprised that they went the evil witch/stepmother route, because I can envision a slew of mother-figure support groups calling to boycott Disney products -- but kudos to them for doing it because Gothel is a tremendous villain.) The film will open on November 24th with my highest recommendation for kids, adults and kids-at-heart. It is a joyous movie-watching experience, which, at my screening, was punctuated by scores of little kids literally dancing in the aisles during the closing credits. Gives me hope that that the world hasn’t yet become too damn cynical to appreciate such goodness. We need more pure Disney fairy tales -- and this one is worthy of being a milestone for both the Walt Disney Co. and me!

Harrison Ford is a Crotchety Old Bastard

Once upon a blog (I’m talkin’, back in the MySpace days), after suffering through yet another dismal performance and feeling physical pain at the thought of another nail being driven into his coffin, I wrote an open letter to Harrison Ford asking him to please to do us all a favor and retire so as not to further sully his legendary career.

Need a moment to read that letter?  Go ahead, I’ll wait.  All caught up?  Excellent.

Now, obviously, Mr. Ford did not listen to my plea, and he has gone on making movies for the past four years.  And, well, I probably don’t need to remind you that the results have not been so good.  As far as I’m concerned, FIREWALL was the rock bottom of his career -- the absolute worst piece of crap he has ever made, and indeed, my #1 worst movie of 2006 (not to mention one of the worst of the decade on my list). Then came INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL -- but once you got past the initial thrill of seeing Indy on screen again, the movie was a misfire beyond what anyone could have feared and clearly a mistake for all involved. After that came CROSSING OVER, a little-known, dull, and not-very-good drama about immigration issues that came and went very quickly. Next up was EXTRAORDINARY MEASURES, a gigantic flop in which Ford tried… well, I’m not exactly sure what… seems like maybe he tried to recapture the quirkiness he displayed in such films as THE MOSQUITO COAST, but in such a horrendous film, it just didn’t work. And so, things continued to look bleak for the former Han Solo, and I cringed as more nails were pounded into that coffin.

But then a funny thing happened. Tonight I saw an advance screening of MORNING GLORY, an upcoming comedy about a hotshot workaholic TV producer who tries to resurrect an dying morning news show. The movie is decent enough, with a few good chuckles here and there, and solid work from Rachel McAdams (at her most adorable, I might add), Jeff Goldblum and Patrick Wilson (not so much Diane Keaton, but that’s a whole other can of worms), but that’s not important right now. The important thing is that it also stars Harrison Ford as Michael Pomeroy, an award-winning, Rather-esque newsman in the twilight of his career who is forced to join the morning show against his will. Ford’s Pomeroy is a crotchety old bastard. He’s mean, pompous, self-centered, well aware that the morning show is far beneath a journalist of his stature… and, frankly, he’s pretty awesome. The former Jack Ryan sneers, snarls and grumbles his way through the movie and it is some of the best, most engaging and entertaining work I’ve seen from him in a long, long time.

I mean, sure, it’s no BLADE RUNNER or WITNESS or even AIR FORCE ONE –- but at this stage of Harrison Ford’s career, playing the crotchety old bastard may be his best bet.  Hell, I think he probably IS kind of a crotchety old bastard in real life, so why not go with it? From now on, when a movie calls for a crotchety old bastard, the former Dr. Richard Kimble should be Hollywood’s go-to guy. I’d almost forgotten that the world is a much better, brighter place when you can watch Harrison Ford on screen and not be overcome by sadness. I’m not saying we should remove the nails from his coffin just yet… but for the first time in years, we didn’t have to add any new ones, and that, my friends, is a step in the right direction.

M. Night Shyamalan is the DEVIL!

Seriously, I think that is the big secret behind DEVIL, the latest piece of trash “from the mind of M. Night Shyamalan.”  The movie is about a group of strangers who get stuck in elevator. Seems harmless at first... then strange things start happening... then people start dying.  Could one of the prisoners be a murderer? Or is this the work of the devil himself?

Well, we know it’s the devil because the voiceover at the beginning of the movie pretty much tells us so.  It explains that sometimes, the devil likes to walk among us and take human form and wreak havoc on our bodies and poison our minds before ultimately claiming our souls. So that settles that.

The question is, which one of these seemingly-normal people is the devil in human’s clothing? Is it the burly security guard? The douchebag mattress salesman? The sassy hottie? The annoying old lady? The mysterious scruffy dude? Having seen the movie, I know the answer... or, rather, what M. Night wants us to believe is the answer.  Because the real answer is that M. Night Shyamalan is the devil himself... and with each film that he unleashes upon the world, he will continue to wreak havoc on our bodies and poison our minds, just like the parable says. And someday soon, he will claim our souls.

Here’s some proof:  While this movie was based on an idea by Shyamalan, the screenplay was actually written by a guy named Brian Nelson, who also wrote the screenplay for HARD CANDY, an excellent, taut, well-written thriller that introduced us to Ellen Page several years ago. But DEVIL is... so... damn... bad.  It’s really astonishing.  Remember how bad the dialogue was in THE HAPPENING?  It’s that bad.  I now see that it wasn’t Mark Wahlberg’s or Zooey Deschanel’s fault that they sucked so much in that movie -- the devil made them do it.  Similarly, M. Night must have gotten into Nelson’s head and forced him to write this demonic drivel. Ridiculous characters abound and plot twists come and go that make absolutely no sense... or even worse, they do make sense but are completely fucking stupid.

If I’m right and M. Night Shyamalan is indeed the devil (further proof: ALL HIS MOVIES TAKE PLACE IN PHILLY!), I am not sure that he can be stopped.  He is going to continue to torment us with these movies, whether he writes & directs them himself or passes them along to another tortured soul as part of his godless “Night Chronicles.”  All we can do is be ready when he strikes....

The End of a Season... and, We Hope, an Era

*sigh*... I guess I should write a few words on the end of the Mets' 2010 season. Well, it wasn't good. Record-wise, the team improved over last year, but really, it felt like more of the same old crap. There was a brief, shining stretch in June when things seemed to finally come together and the Mets actually reached first place for a day or two... but that quickly fell apart. The dead weight that the team has been carrying has never felt heavier. All sorts of off-field bullshit turned Citi Field into a circus and management continued to be more clueless than we thought. There were some bright spots, like the return of David Wright (too many strikeouts notwithstanding), the rise of Ike Davis, the emergence of Angel Pagan, the coming-of-age of Mike Pelfrey and the surprise awesomeness of R.A. Dickey. On the rare occasion that Jose Reyes was healthy, he seemed like his old self. Also, the overdue addition of more Mets-related stuff at Citi Field was nice (and the food options were still top-notch). These good things just weren't nearly enough to overcome the bad stuff.

And so, after today's fitting final loss (Ollie hits a batter and walks three to surrender the go-ahead run in the 14th inning... gimme a goddamn break), the season is mercifully over. Looks pretty certain that Jerry and Omar will be fired soon... maybe tomorrow. From there... who knows. Gotta hope that the team will finally bite the bullet and dump the dead weight. Hopefully they can manage to avoid paying K-Rod next year -- f’ing jackass. Probably makes sense to hold on to Beltran -- figure we'd have to pay most of his salary to unload him, so we might as well pay him to play for us. Gotta pray that Jason Bay rebounds next year, Reyes can stay healthy, Johan comes back soon, and the kids continue to grow, etc. Beyond that... I dunno. All I really want is for the Mets to field a team that is fun and exciting to watch, and if we creep back into contention, all the better. (Bringing back Bobby V would be a big step in the right direction....)

My personal record at Citi Field was actually not too shabby -- I attended 18 games and the Mets won 11 of them. Granted, there wasn't a whole lot to get excited about, regardless of the game result... but there were still a few standout moments: My triumphant return to Opening Day after getting getting shafted out of tix last year. Big Pelf shutting down the Phillies to complete an improbable three-game shutout sweep. A big six-run 8th inning comeback vs. the Nats. A 10th inning walk-off homer by Henry Blanco vs. the Giants. I got to hang out in the Acela Club on a nasty September night. And how about the fact that I won the Mets Speed Text Challenge not once, but TWICE! Christos Steakhouse, here I come!

(For the record, the worst game I attended this year was a 14-1 drubbing at the hands of the Diamondbacks, highlighted by one of Ollie's most dismal appearances. And it was made even worse by the fact that the game followed the Mets Hall of Fame induction of '86 heroes Darryl Strawberry, Doc Gooden, Davey Johnson and Frank Cashen. Oy.)

So, what will 2011 bring for the New York Mets? Beats the hell of out me. Youth? Promise? Stability? Fire? Basic fundamentals? Some combination of these things would be nice. As usual, the groundwork is there -- I'd build my team around Wright and Reyes every time -- now let's see if the youngsters can flourish and management can do what they need to do and put together a team that we can be proud of. It’s becoming increasingly more difficult, but I still believe. LET'S GO METS in 2011!

Oh, and here’s hoping for a Rays-Reds World Series! (Or, really, anything but the Yanks and Phils.)

Ben's Top 5 Most-Wanted Movies Inspired By Popular Websites

Just sitting here on this lazy Saturday night, listening to Trent Reznor's awesome soundtrack to THE SOCIAL NETWORK (which, by the way, you should really be seeing tonight instead of sitting around reading this blog), and thinking about other movies inspired by popular websites that I'd like to see.  Wait... what's that? You'd like to see a top 5 list? Well, glad you asked, 'cause I’ve got one. Ready? GO!

5.  A TESTIMONIAL TO FRIENDSTER -- A once fun, cutting-edge world becomes a desolate, post-apocalyptic wasteland almost overnight after precious resources are discovered elsewhere.  A handful of survivors linger, only to find themselves on the run when an army of extraterrestrials come down and claim the land for themselves.

4.  THE HAMPSTER DANCE... OF DEATH! -- Sometime in the not-too-distant future, a plague of man-eating rodents wreak bloody havoc on a sleepy Midwestern town.  The fabled Hampster Dance theme, thought to have been long forgotten since the late 1990s, will be a maddening death knell to all who hear it.

3.  THE BASTARD SON OF THE LORD HOMEPAGE: THE SECOND COMING -- A raunchy sex comedy and unflinching commentary on religion starring Nicolas Cage as Jesus H. Christ, Russell Brand as Satan and Jason Bateman as webmaster Steve.  The movie will be lambasted by Christian groups and the Pope himself, but the song "Put a Little Christ in You," as performed by the Magnetic Fields, will be nominated for a Best Original Song Oscar.

2.  GEOCITIES: THE MOTION PICTURE -- A computer geek is accidentally sucked into an alternate dimension filled with flashing lights and mismatched colors and bizarre images and endlessly repeating bits of music and sound clips and frames and pop-ups and things that have absolutely nothing to do with anything... and as he tries desperately to escape, he slowly descends into madness.

...and finally....

 
1.  A VERY OKCUPID MOVIE -- Basically the story of my love life between 2003 and 2008.  Starring me as me.  Rated R. ;)

Okay, Hollywood, get crackalackin’!!

THE SOCIAL NETWORK and CATFISH: Friend Requests Accepted

At first, the concept of a movie about Facebook seemed a little silly.  For one thing, the site has only really been around for, what, six years?  Who knows what its place in the grand scheme of things will be six years from now.  (Remember, Friendster was a pretty big deal in 2003.)  Turns out, though, that the events leading up to the creation of Facebook were kind of fascinating, and in many ways, represent the fast-paced, detached-from-reality mindset of the early 21st century.  Directed by the great David Fincher, with an electrifying script by Aaron Sorkin and featuring a stellar cast of young talent, THE SOCIAL NETWORK has emerged as not only one of the best movies of the year, but one of the more important films of its generation.

The story begins with one of the most painfully awkward breakups you'll ever see on screen.  Harvard computer science geek Mark Zuckerberg sits in a bar with his girlfriend and they talk about... well, it's hard to say and even harder to keep up.  The conversation is loaded with double-talk and rapid-fire, back-and-forth dialogue -- Zuckerberg's mind clearly works at a ridiculously fast pace, tiring of topics and moving on to something completely unrelated even before the other person has a chance to respond.  It's a fascinating introduction and immediately displays that Zuckerberg may just be too smart and self-involved for his own good.

After the breakup, Zuckerberg embarks on a wild journey of vengeance, creation, wheeling & dealing, deception and incredible genius.  Reputations are made, friends are forsaken and douchebag frat boys are screwed over (from a certain point of view, this movie occasionally plays like REVENGE OF THE NERDS for the Internet age).  The surprisingly-enthralling plot unfurls like a whirlwind and Sorkin's script is so snappy & exciting, loaded with incredible dialogue, great drama and blistering confrontations that it sometimes feels like an action movie.  And Fincher's touch is no less magical -- the man has his finger on the pulse of humanity like few filmmakers working today.  His signature visual style fits the story perfectly -- this film could very easily have taken place in the same dark universe as SEVEN, FIGHT CLUB and ZODIAC.  Great score from Trent Reznor (!) and Atticus Ross, too -- one the year's best & most memorable (though I am still partial to that thundering INCEPTION theme).

Acting-wise, the movie is a revelation.  I've been a Jesse Eisenberg fan since seeing him in ROGER DODGER ten years ago, and I am confident that this will be the movie that finally erases his "poor man's Michael Cera" stigma and maybe even earns him Oscar gold.  It's a remarkable performance -- the perfect combination of complete social awkwardness and cold, calculating arrogance.  He's kind of an asshole, but damn, does he know his stuff.  Equally fantastic is Andrew Garfield as Zuckerberg’s best friend and Facebook’s co-founder, Eduardo.  I've now seen this guy in three noteworthy movies over the past couple of weeks (this one, NEVER LET ME GO and the RED RIDING trilogy) and it is clear that he is one of the best young actors around and will undoubtedly kick ass as the new Peter Parker.  Justin Timberlake, meanwhile, is a scene-stealer as dot-com superstar Sean Parker (remember Napster?), who gets into Zuckerberg's head and drives him to turn Facebook into something truly legendary.  Excellent supporting cast, too, including Armie Hammer in a dual role as the entitled Winklevoss twins, and Rooney Mara (soon-to-be Lisbeth Salander in the Americanized GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO remake) as the girlfriend in that scintillating opening scene.

Now, apparently this movie was written with no help from the real Mark Zuckerberg, so who knows exactly how much is real and how much is fabricated.  But I'm willing to bet that most of it is pretty accurate.  I don't doubt for a second that Zuckerberg stole the idea from the Winklevosses, screwed over his best friend and basically alienated everyone he ever knew... but he clearly turned the idea into something bigger and better than anyone else would have done.  In the end, who cares, because even after doling out however many hundreds of millions of dollars to make the legal troubles go away, Zuckerberg is still a billionaire many times over.  And that's one of the points of the movie:  In this age of instant information, if you have an idea, you'd better run with it immediately, because if you don't, someone else will.  I wouldn't be surprised if, in a few years, this movie is linked to the disconnected '00s the way that FIGHT CLUB is to the '90s, WALL STREET to the '80s, NETWORK to the '70s.  Yes, folks, the Facebook movie is that good!

But wait, there’s more! Let's skip ahead a few years... Facebook has pretty much entrenched itself into society and become the leader of the social networking revolution.  For most people, at the very least, it has become a part of their regular daily routine, a place to share photos and catch up with old friends.  For others it is something that must be checked and browsed and updated throughout the day -- a running log of one’s daily life.  And for a select few, it is a place where one can create an entirely new persona and disappear into a twisted combination of fantasy and reality.  Which brings us to CATFISH.  If THE SOCIAL NETWORK is Facebook’s origin story, then CATFISH deals with the consequences.  It’s a story about how powerful Mark Zuckerberg's creation can be -- and how it can be manipulated for better or worse.

Simply put, it's a documentary about a guy who meets a girl through an unusual Facebook connection, develops an intense relationship with her without actually having met (lots of chatting and status-updating and photo-stalking ensue), and eventually discovers that things may not be exactly as they seem.  Determined to find out the truth, he and his filmmaking friends pay a surprise visit to the girl's house in the middle of nowhere... and then things get weird.

I am being intentionally vague about the plot because it's best to see this movie with as little knowledge as possible.  Once again (and fittingly, considering the subject at hand), there are questions as to whether or not the film is a true documentary, or if has at least been partially staged (personally, I think it’s mostly real with some cinematic embellishments)... but regardless, it is a gripping portrait of the kind of world that social networking, and Facebook in particular, hath wrought.

CATFISH is playing now in select theatres (with a wider release coming soon, I think), and THE SOCIAL NETWORK opens this Friday nationwide.  Both are must-sees -- but ideally, I recommend seeing them together in the ultimate 21st century double-feature.  LIKE!