Saturday, October 2, 2010

Ben's Top 5 Most-Wanted Movies Inspired By Popular Websites

Just sitting here on this lazy Saturday night, listening to Trent Reznor's awesome soundtrack to THE SOCIAL NETWORK (which, by the way, you should really be seeing tonight instead of sitting around reading this blog), and thinking about other movies inspired by popular websites that I'd like to see.  Wait... what's that? You'd like to see a top 5 list? Well, glad you asked, 'cause I’ve got one. Ready? GO!

friendster 5.  A TESTIMONIAL TO FRIENDSTER -- A once fun, cutting-edge world becomes a desolate, post-apocalyptic wasteland almost overnight after precious resources are discovered elsewhere.  A handful of survivors linger, only to find themselves on the run when an army of extraterrestrials come down and claim the land for themselves.

Hampster_dance 4.  THE HAMPSTER DANCE... OF DEATH! -- Sometime in the not-too-distant future, a plague of man-eating rodents wreak bloody havoc on a sleepy Midwestern town.  The fabled Hampster Dance theme, thought to have been long forgotten since the late 1990s, will be a maddening death knell to all who hear it.

jesus 3.  THE BASTARD SON OF THE LORD HOMEPAGE: THE SECOND COMING -- A raunchy sex comedy and unflinching commentary on religion starring Nicolas Cage as Jesus H. Christ, Russell Brand as Satan and Jason Bateman as webmaster Steve.  The movie will be lambasted by Christian groups and the Pope himself, but the song "Put a Little Christ in You," as performed by the Magnetic Fields, will be nominated for a Best Original Song Oscar.

geocities 2.  GEOCITIES: THE MOTION PICTURE -- A computer geek is accidentally sucked into an alternate dimension filled with flashing lights and mismatched colors and bizarre images and endlessly repeating bits of music and sound clips and frames and pop-ups and things that have absolutely nothing to do with anything... and as he tries desperately to escape, he slowly descends into madness.

...and finally....

1.  A VERY OKCUPID MOVIE -- Basically the story of my love life between 2003 and 2008.  Starring me as me.  Rated R. ;)

Okay, Hollywood, get crackalackin’!!


  1. Hilarious! I almost forgot about Geocities...

  2. Haha, I like it. You should get started on those screenplays, because if anything even remotely like any of these movies ever gets made, you's gonna be pissed. Not that that's gonna happen. :-P

  3. For the Bastard Son Of The Lord Homepage movie, I'm thinking Matthew Gray Gubler as the guy who wins the blasphemy contest, and Rob Riggle as the dumbass from NIU who confuses hom with Pieretti.