Ben's Oscar Picks & Predictions

At last, the most wonderful time of the year is upon us -- OSCAR SEASON!  The nominations have been announced and the big show is exactly one month away... and boy oh boy, do I have a lot to say about this year's crazy crop of contenders.  In some cases (TOY STORY 3 for Best Picture!), I am very happy; in others (Natalie Portman for Best Actress and FOUR nods for the abysmal ALICE IN WONDERLAND), I am shaking my head in disgust; and in others still (no TRON: LEGACY for Best Score or Andrew Garfield for Supporting Actor or Ryan Gosling for Best Actor?), I am flat-out puzzled.  So, without further ado, let's take a look at the categories and see what there is to see.  As always, I will also provide my predictions based on who I want to win in my heart and who I think will win in the sometimes-harsh reality of life. Ready? GO! 

BEST PICTURE
BLACK SWAN
THE FIGHTER
INCEPTION
THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT
THE KING'S SPEECH
127 HOURS
THE SOCIAL NETWORK
TOY STORY 3
TRUE GRIT
WINTER'S BONE

You know, I really hope that this is the last time they decide to have ten Best Picture nominees because it’s already gotten old. Think of it this way: If there were only five nominees and they were BLACK SWAN, THE FIGHTER, THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT, 127 HOURS and WINTER’S BONE, the prevailing opinion would be that 2010 was a dud of a movie year. Not that the movies are bad (well, except for BLACK SWAN, which sucks)... they’re just not Best Picture material. For the remaining big guns, it’s a tough call. In a perfect world, I would love to see TOY STORY 3 win because (a) it’s the best movie of the year on my list, and (b) it would honor the complete trilogy as a whole, a la THE RETURN OF THE KING in 2003. I suppose it’s not outside the realm of possibility, but not very likely. INCEPTION would be a bold choice, but it’s too heady for the Academy. No, it’s going to be a three-horse race between THE SOCIAL NETWORK, THE KING’S SPEECH and TRUE GRIT -- for the big award and probably for most of the night. I hope hope HOPE that it’s TRUE GRIT, which is sheer cinematic perfection that only the Coen Bros. can provide. THE KING’S SPEECH has a lot of momentum right now, and it’s a very good film, but I don’t know... it doesn’t do it for me on that level. In the end, I think that this is the Facebook movie’s year. It is, after, the movie that defines this generation! And it is a truly tremendous film. (But man, wouldn’t it be great if TOY STORY won?)

I'M ROOTING FOR: Toy Story 3 or True Grit
WILL PROBABLY WIN: The Social Network


BEST ACTOR
Javier Bardem, BIUTIFUL
Jeff Bridges, TRUE GRIT
Jesse Eisenberg, THE SOCIAL NETWORK
Colin Firth, THE KING'S SPEECH
James Franco, 127 HOURS

Sorry to see that Ryan Gosling got snubbed here -- he was outstanding in BLUE VALENTINE and it almost doesn’t make sense to have nominated Michelle Williams but not him. I would have given him a nod over Bardem or Franco, mainly because I liked BLUE more than BIUTIFUL or 127 HOURS. (By the way, I also wouldn’t have minded seeing Robert Duvall for the completely-forgotten GET LOW. WTF, Academy?) But really, you can’t go wrong with any of these guys. I’ve been touting Jesse Eisenberg’s virtues for more than a decade and finally, I have been vindicated! Colin Firth was tremendous in THE KING’S SPEECH and is probably the favorite – plus that film’s acting is its strongest suit. But I have to root for Jeff Bridges, who wrested the character of Rooster Cogburn away from John Wayne and made it his own. I don’t know if it WILL happen, but the Dude SHOULD win his second straight Oscar, which would make him the first to do that since Tom Hanks for PHILADELPHIA/FORREST GUMP. Come on, Academy… abide!

I'M ROOTING FOR: The Dude
WILL PROBABLY WIN: Mr. Darcy


BEST ACTRESS
Annette Bening, THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT
Nicole Kidman, RABBIT HOLE
Jennifer Lawrence, WINTER'S BONE
Natalie Portman, BLACK SWAN
Michelle Williams, BLUE VALENTINE

Funny thing is, this could be Annette Bening’s year if for no other reason than that Hilary Swank isn’t nominated (you may recall that Swank beat Bening the last two times they were both up for gold). But she shouldn’t win, because while she was good, the emotionally-wrenching performances of Kidman (a big return to form for her) and Williams and the determination of Jennifer Lawrence were much better (in fact, I’m pretty sure Lawrence is my #1 pick). Of course, that is all moot because of Natalie f’ing Portman. I’m sure she will win for the overrated pile of horse manure that is BLACK SWAN and I have been trying to mentally prepare myself for that so I don’t punch a hole in the wall. *sigh*

I'M ROOTING FOR: Jennifer Lawrence (or Nicole or Michelle or even Annette)
WILL PROBABLY WIN: Natalie Portman (ugh)


BEST DIRECTOR
Darren Aronofsky, BLACK SWAN
David O. Russell, THE FIGHTER
Tom Hooper, THE KING'S SPEECH
David Fincher, THE SOCIAL NETWORK
The Coen Bros., TRUE GRIT

Puzzling that Christopher Nolan got snubbed here. I mean, for me, it’s a bit of a joke recognizing Aronofsky for what is basically a ripoff of his own movie (THE WRESTLER), while Nolan is left off despite crafting such a wildly original, mind-bending jigsaw puzzle of a film. But since the Academy has BLACK SWAN fever just like the rest of this sexually-repressed country, I’m not surprised. Could’ve easily left out David O. Russell, too... THE FIGHTER is good but INCEPTION is a billion times better. Again, it’s going to come down to THE KING’S SPEECH, THE SOCIAL NETWORK and TRUE GRIT. The Coens get my vote; Fincher will probably get the Academy’s.

I'M ROOTING FOR: The Coen Bros.
WILL PROBABLY WIN: David Fincher


BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
ANOTHER YEAR
THE FIGHTER
INCEPTION
THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT
THE KING'S SPEECH

Interesting stuff here. Again, just eliminate THE FIGHTER and THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT because they’re not winning anything other than perhaps an acting award apiece. INCEPTION would be a bold choice, and it certainly the most original story with ideas and themes and twists that have had people buzzing ever since it came out, but I don’t see it happening unless the Academy wants to make up for snubbing Nolan for Director. THE KING’S SPEECH has a shot if it sweeps (though, again, that movie owes its goodness more to the performances of the actors than the actual words they were saying). To be honest, I think we’ll see the great Mike Leigh get honored here for his latest great, moving, devastating film -- I’m actually surprised that this is ANOTHER YEAR’s only nod.

I'M ROOTING FOR: Inception
WILL PROBABLY WIN: Another Year


BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
127 HOURS
THE SOCIAL NETWORK
TOY STORY 3
TRUE GRIT
WINTER'S BONE

I’m a little confused here. What, exactly, is TOY STORY 3 adapted from? Is there a 18th century novel entitled “The Toy Story” that I don’t know about? Just kidding... I learned that the Academy considers “true film sequels” (that is, sequels to a film that is not based on previously-written material) to be adapted from the original film. So there you have it.  (Sucks, though, because this is a much stronger category than Original Screenplay, and thus TS3’s chances of winning are much more slim.) Happy to see so much love for WINTER’S BONE, this year’s “little indie movie that could,” but it will probably miss out once again. 127 HOURS getting any of these major nods is kind of ridiculous. I’d love to see TRUE GRIT win because the Coens did an INCREDIBLE job of transferring Portis’ crazy written word to the screen -- it was like the book was written specifically for their eventual adaptation. But clearly this is THE SOCIAL NETWORK and Aaron Sorkin’s award to lose -- his script is so intense and loaded with whip-snappy dialogue that, at times, it feels like an action movie. I’ll have no problem seeing it win.

I'M ROOTING FOR: Toy Story 3 or True Grit
WILL PROBABLY WIN: The Social Network


BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Christian Bale, THE FIGHTER
John Hawkes, WINTER'S BONE
Jeremy Renner, THE TOWN
Mark Ruffalo, THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT
Geoffrey Rush, THE KING'S SPEECH

Another category full of surprises. But still, as nice as it is to see Hawkes get a nod, and as good an actor as Renner is, I can’t believe they couldn’t find a way to make room for Andrew Garfield from THE SOCIAL NETWORK. (A case could also be made for Justin Timberlake, who pretty much stole every scene he was in. And actually, Garfield was also excellent in NEVER LET ME GO, a great film that was completely snubbed. P.S., I would have also accepted nods for Barry Pepper and/or Matt Damon from TRUE GRIT) Huge props to my boy Mark Ruffalo, finally getting rewarded for basically playing his usual Mark Ruffalo role (that is not a knock against him -- Mark Ruffalo rules). Geoffrey Rush is always great, but this is going to be Christian Bale’s award to lose. He was the best part of THE FIGHTER -- makes you wonder if he really became a crack addict to prepare for the role.

I'M ROOTING FOR: Christian Bale
WILL PROBABLY WIN: Christian Bale


BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Amy Adams, THE FIGHTER
Helena Bonham Carter, THE KING'S SPEECH
Melissa Leo, THE FIGHTER
Hailee Steinfeld, TRUE GRIT
Jacki Weaver, ANIMAL KINGDOM

Man, two nominees from THE FIGHTER and neither of them are the Crazy Evil Sisters?? Hopefully those scary bitches will get a collective nomination for Best Villain at the MTV Movie Awards. I love me some Amy Adams, so I’d love to see her pick up some gold -- though I will settle for seeing her looking super hot on the red carpet. Melissa Leo appears to be the frontrunner at the moment, seemingly for no other reason than that she is Melissa Leo. Helena Bonham Carter was good (very nice to see her outside of Tim Burton’s world for a change), but I think she’s vastly overshadowed here. I literally just watched ANIMAL KINGDOM tonight and I’ve already forgotten what Jacki Weaver looks like... not that it matters because I am 100% rooting for Hailee Steinfeld! Granted, she should be in the Lead Actress category... but I think she might have a better chance of winning here, so I’ll allow it. The girl has grit and she deserves Oscar gold! (Incidentally, kind of surprised to not see Lesley Manville from ANOTHER YEAR on this list -- she gave an outstanding performance in a film full of outstanding performances. Oh well.)

I'M ROOTING FOR: Hailee Steinfeld
WILL PROBABLY WIN: Melissa Leo


BEST ORIGINAL SCORE
John Powell, HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON
Hans Zimmer, INCEPTION
Alexandre Desplat, THE KING'S SPEECH
A.R. Rahman, 127 HOURS
Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross, THE SOCIAL NETWORK

Here, folks, we have the biggest Oscar snub so far. WHERE THE FUCK IS DAFT PUNK’S TRON: LEGACY SCORE?! Such an intense, relentless piece of work that drives the movie more than any other score I’ve heard all year. Damn shame of a snub. (I also would have liked to see Randy Newman’s TOY STORY 3 score because all it takes is a few notes here and there and I’m bawling. That’s a sign of a memorable score.) All that being said, Reznor & Ross’ SOCIAL NETWORK score is awesome and, I think, the clear favorite -- hell, it helps makes writing an algorithm on a window pane seem like a kick-ass action sequence. I also love the thundering INCEPTION score, which is Hans Zimmer’s finest work in years. Don’t really remember much about the music from DRAGON, SPEECH and HOURS (though if Desplat had been nominated for HARRY POTTER 7, we might have a tighter race on our hands).

I'M ROOTING FOR: The Social Network
WILL PROBABLY WIN: The Social Network


BEST ORIGINAL SONG
"Coming Home," COUNTRY STRONG
"I See the Light," TANGLED
"If I Rise," 127 HOURS
"We Belong Together," TOY STORY 3

Eh, nothing too exciting here. I’ll be rooting for the TOY STORY 3 song because it’s from TOY STORY 3 and thus will probably make me get all misty-eyed (hell, I felt a lump in my throat when I found that photo to the left). All of the TANGLED songs were pretty good, though I personally preferred “I’ve Got a Dream.” Don’t remember the 127 HOURS song, and don’t care for the COUNTRY STRONG song. So there you have it. Now here’s hoping for a Naked Underwater Ballet interpretation of each nominee during the telecast, a la the infamous scene in PIRHANA 3-D! (NSFW)

I'M ROOTING FOR: "We Belong Together"
WILL PROBABLY WIN: "We Belong Together"


BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY
BLACK SWAN
INCEPTION
THE KING'S SPEECH
THE SOCIAL NETWORK
TRUE GRIT

Can’t really argue with any of these nominees... except THE KING’S SPEECH. Not quite sure I understand that one. Basically the movie is one guy sitting around teaching another guy how to speak properly. Not a whole lot of groundbreaking camerawork involved in that. Or maybe I just don’t understand cinematography as much as I thought. But whatever. Much as I hate BLACK SWAN, at least it was well-shot. THE SOCIAL NETWORK is probably the frontrunner -- it felt like it could have taken place in David Fincher’s twisted universe. INCEPTION had all sorts of crazy dreamlike visuals. But I gotta go with TRUE GRIT, the best-looking full-fledged sweeping and, yes, gritty western we’ve seen in a long time.

I'M ROOTING FOR: True Grit
WILL PROBABLY WIN: The Social Network


BEST VISUAL EFFECTS
ALICE IN WONDERLAND
HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS: PART 1
HEREAFTER
INCEPTION
IRON MAN 2

More bullshit here. I cannot believe that TRON: LEGACY didn’t get nominated -- it had the best and most groundbreaking visual effects of the year, by far! Also, SCOTT PILGRIM vs. THE WORLD should be in there. The Academy must have been smoking Christian Bale’s leftover crack when they instead voted for HEREAFTER -- absolutely nothing worthwhile in that movie -- and ALICE IN WONDERLAND getting any nominations at this ceremony, let alone four, is a joke, too. (Fun fact: This is the first time ever that an Oscar category has contained not one but TWO movies from my Bottom 10 of the year.) I’m not a huge fan of IRON MAN 2, which was inferior to the original in every way. This will be between POTTER and INCEPTION -- both are worthy, but INCEPTION is more memorable (rotating hallway fight, anyone?), original and probably wins.

I'M ROOTING FOR: Potter or Inception
WILL PROBABLY WIN: Inception


BEST FILM EDITING
BLACK SWAN
THE FIGHTER
THE KING'S SPEECH
127 HOURS
THE SOCIAL NETWORK

Once again, I think BLACK SWAN and THE FIGHTER can be eliminated right off the bat because neither of those movies are winning anything except for the one acting award for which they are most associated (Actress and Supporting Actress, respectively). THE KING’S SPEECH could pull this out if it sweeps. But I think this should be between 127 HOURS, which required some crafty editing to make a single-location, one-actor film seem intense and full of life (though, to be honest, I preferred BURIED as far as “one guy trapped in a small, confined spot” movies are concerned) and THE SOCIAL NETWORK, which, as I mentioned, feels like an action movie at times, using dialogue and quick cuts as weapons (the opening scene alone... d’gah). Like!

I'M ROOTING FOR: The Social Network
WILL PROBABLY WIN: The Social Network


BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
BIUTIFUL, Mexico
DOGTOOTH, Greece
IN A BETTER WORLD, Denmark
INCENDIES, Canada
OUTSIDE THE LAW, Algeria

Can’t believe I saw 141 movies in 2010, but only ONE of these nominees. I am such an uncultured ass. Then again, it may not have been my fault because I don’t ever recall these movies playing in NYC. Could be wrong about that, but for now, that’s my excuse, dammit. I did see BIUTIFUL and it was an excruciating movie indeed -- very good and seemingly Oscar-worthy. I have heard great things about DOGTOOTH and, in fact, it is at the very top of my Netflix Instant queue. Hopefully I’ll get to see some of the others, too, before the big show.

I'M ROOTING FOR: Biutiful, by default (so far)
WILL PROBABLY WIN: Oh, let’s say... Dogtooth


BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE
EXIT THROUGH THE GIFT SHOP
GASLAND
INSIDE JOB
RESTREPO
WASTE LAND

Ooh, ooh, I’ve actually seen two of these, thanks to the wonders of Netflix Instant! I watched EXIT THROUGH THE GIFT SHOP the other day and even though I don’t really care much about street art, it is a fun doc & even better practical joke on the whole scene. RESTREPO, meanwhile, is anything but fun -- it’s a visceral, very real look at life in Afghanistan for a platoon of U.S. soldiers. Crazy, intense and a must-see. I hope to see the other three films if possible, but for now it’s a two-horse race in my mind. My guess is that the Academy goes for the “fun” choice, if for no other reason than to see what kind of crazy shit Banksy pulls during the live show (and that would be cool indeed) -- but the “important” film is definitely the more worthy choice. (By the way, speaking of important -- and controversial -- films, where's WAITING FOR "SUPERMAN?" Oh well.)

I'M ROOTING FOR: Restrepo
WILL PROBABLY WIN: Exit Through the Gift Shop


BEST ANIMATED FILM
HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON
THE ILLUSIONIST
TOY STORY 3

No surprises here, except that they easily could have included TANGLED and MEGAMIND and had five very solid nominees. This really was a tremendous year for animation across the board... but once again, Pixar comes out on top and this belongs to TOY STORY 3. Also, I mean, think about it: How could TOY STORY 3 lose this award when it’s also nominated for the Best Picture of ANY kind? That would not make a damn bit of sense. Props to DRAGON and ILLUSIONIST, though -- both excellent films in their own rights. (In fact, I wonder if it would make more sense to just give Pixar a Special Achievement Award every year so that the other animated films have a shot to win the regular award? Just a thought.)

I'M ROOTING FOR: Toy Story 3
WILL PROBABLY WIN: Toy Story 3


BEST MAKEUP
BARNEY'S VERSION
THE WAY BACK
THE WOLFMAN

Huh, so BARNEY’S VERSION is considered a 2010 movie by the Academy after all? Kinda surprised we didn’t see Golden Globe winner Giamatti snag a Best Actor nod, in that case (would have booted Bardem or Franco for him, too) -- not to mention scene-stealing Dustin Hoffman for Supporting Actor. Anyway, I think it will win here because there was some fine aging technology on display in that movie. I haven’t seen THE WAY BACK yet, though I plan on doing so ASAP because I’m a Peter Weir fan. As for THE WOLFMAN... meh... the movie sucked, and Benicio Del Toro already kind of looks like a werewolf, so any makeup they may have used was just overkill.

I'M ROOTING FOR: Barney's Version
WILL PROBABLY WIN: Barney's Version


BEST COSTUME DESIGN
ALICE IN WONDERLAND
I AM LOVE
THE KING'S SPEECH
THE TEMPEST
TRUE GRIT

Some might argue that ALICE IN WONDERLAND is worthy for this category if nothing else, but I’m disqualifying it on the grounds that it sucks my arse through a straw. I AM LOVE was an artsy Italian melodrama and thus everyone was dressed as such -- I didn’t love the film but it definitely looked good. Everyone in THE KING’S SPEECH was dressed ever-so-British but it was nothing spectacular. I didn’t see THE TEMPEST, but you can never count out Shakespeare. Which brings us once again to TRUE GRIT. Can’t see how anyone can look at Rooster’s disheveled getup, Mattie Ross’ oversized hat and LaBoeuf’s spurs and not give it this award.

I'M ROOTING FOR: True Grit
WILL PROBABLY WIN: True Grit


BEST ART DIRECTION
ALICE IN WONDERLAND
HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS: PART 1
INCEPTION
THE KING'S SPEECH
TRUE GRIT

Funny thing is, if ALICE IN WONDERLAND hadn’t been such a god-awful train wreck, I might actually have been able to appreciate whatever aesthetic value it may have had. But as it stands, Tim Burton can kiss my aforementioned arse. I have no problem with THE KING’S SPEECH competing strong in the acting categories, but in these technical areas it pales next to the competition. This is another triple-threat match in my book: HP7.1 looked and felt as if it was shrouded in darkness and despair from act 1, scene 1. INCEPTION is filled with some of the most memorable images of the year and could be the frontrunner. TRUE GRIT captures the visual essence of an old-time western and Portis’ written word. It could go any of those ways, but I’m sticking with TRUE GRIT for the sweep.

I'M ROOTING FOR: Potter or Grit or Inception
WILL PROBABLY WIN: True Grit


BEST SOUND EDITING
INCEPTION
TOY STORY 3
TRON: LEGACY
TRUE GRIT
UNSTOPPABLE

Oh, hey, look at that, the Academy remembered that TRON: LEGACY exists. That being said, I’d be lying if I said that I fully understand the sound editing process... I think it has to do with the creation of sound, and sound effects, and that sort of thing? I don’t know. Actually, if that’s the case, then TRON or TOY STORY 3 could win because they’re both full of crazy sounds. TRUE GRIT definitely features the best use of gunfire in a movie. UNSTOPPABLE is an odd choice, but admittedly, few sounds are more intense than that of an onrushing train. But my guess is that INCEPTION (sleep)walks away with this one.

I'M ROOTING FOR: TRON or Toy Story 3
WILL PROBABLY WIN: Inception


BEST SOUND MIXING
INCEPTION
THE KING'S SPEECH
SALT
THE SOCIAL NETWORK
TRUE GRIT

This category, as I understand it, deals with the way the various sounds, effects, dialogue, etc. are slapped together (or “mixed,” in the parlance of our times). Um, SALT is a very odd choice, and an unmemorable one at that (though the film was fun in the moment). THE KING’S SPEECH, again, did not seem like much of a technical marvel in this area, even though it was all about speech & dialogue. THE SOCIAL NETWORK and TRUE GRIT are perfect films through-and-through so I’d have no issue with them winning, but I think INCEPTION takes this one, too. Sounds on top of sounds in multiple layers of dream worlds... insane. (The way they use Edith Piaf’s “Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien” is the first example that comes to mind.) 

I'M ROOTING FOR: Inception
WILL PROBABLY WIN: Inception

I am also very excited to once again spend the day at the IFC Center checking out the Oscar-nominated Short Films -- they should be released within the next couple of weeks, and you can bet that I’ll provide a full report (aside from Live Action and Animation, this year they will also be showing the Documentary Shorts for the first time!). Oscar Night is Sunday, February 27th, and you should definitely bookmark this site if you haven’t already, because I will be right here, for the sixth straight year, conducting my epic, entertaining, informative LIVE MOMENT-BY-MOMENT OSCAR COMMENTARY! But in the meantime, let’s discuss the nominees! GO!

Natalie & Me

First and foremost, I’d like to set the record straight about one thing: I like Natalie Portman as a human being. I think Natalie Portman is one of the most gorgeous actresses alive. She’s smart, funny, was involved in one of the great SNL skits of the past decade, has a excellent sense of humor, has a dorky laugh, and (for better or worse, and whether she likes to admit it or not) is a major part of the canon of my favorite movie saga of all time.

However, over the years, I’ve made no secret of the fact that I just don’t think Natalie Portman is a very good actress. Never really has been, with a couple of notable exceptions, one of which occurred when she was 12 years old. She is rarely convincing in any role, making it difficult, if not impossible, to suspend disbelief. She has, by my count, three facial expressions: Smiley, Crying and Expressionless (if you can consider that an expression). Nothing she has done recently has made me think otherwise -- especially the wildly overrated BLACK SWAN, for which she will likely, undeservedly, win a Best Actress Oscar.

But hey, while my status as an faceless, amateur film critic may give me a self-appointed right to judge her professionally, I would never hold that against her on a personal level! I would still very much like to be friends with Natalie Portman because I bet she’s super cool and fun in real life. And I sure as hell wouldn’t mind being friends with benefits with Natalie Portman... which brings us to NO STRINGS ATTACHED, a mind-numbing, by-the-numbers romantic comedy in which Natalie and Ashton Kutcher attempt just that kind of relationship before a nasty little thing called “love” gets in the way.

Suffice to say, the film is not very good. It’s wildly unoriginal, ripping off everything from WHEN HARRY MET SALLY to SEINFELD (most notably the scene in which Natalie and Ashton decide to set “ground rules” for their no-strings relationship, a la Jerry and Elaine in that one classic episode); hell, even the recent LOVE AND OTHER DRUGS tackled similar subject matter -- and while that movie also sucked, at least it featured more believable chemistry between its stars. It’s not very funny, save for a handful of amusing moments (tip of the cap to the "period mix CD"). As much as I love a good R-rated raunchy comedy, this one just seems raunchy for the sake of being raunchy. The supporting characters are grossly, almost insultingly, generic: There's the goofy friend and the black friend and the gay friend and the sassy friend and so on. Character development is nil -- for example, why is Natalie's character so emotionally stunted, besides the fact that there wouldn't be much of a movie otherwise? Though only 100 minutes or so, it feels laboriously long, bogged down by painfully extended moments and lingering shots. Of course, Natalie isn't very good and Ashton is exponentially worse. Director Ivan Reitman has certainly fallen from grace, himself -- GHOSTBUSTERS seems like a very, very long time ago.

If there’s one positive thing I can say, it’s that the actors portraying the generic supporting characters try their damnedest to rise above the material, particularly indie darling Greta Gerwig. She plays one of the “best friend” roles, and at first glance, you’d think that she’d be out of her element in such a generic Hollywood picture (a far cry from her mumblecore roots, or even last year’s GREENBERG) -- but then you realize that she's acting circles around pretty much everyone on screen. I wish the movie had been about her character and relationship instead of what’shername and what’shisface! More good stuff stuff, too, from Kevin Kline, Mindy Kaling, Lake Bell and an odd cameo from Cary Elwes.

It’s also worth noting that Natalie Portman has never looked sexier on a movie screen. D’gah. Clearly my relationship with her is complicated... and, come to think of it, might make a good romantic comedy in its own right: Dorky unknown movie blogger loves actress as a person but is quite vocal about disliking her as an actress, an opinion for which he is very much in the minority. While at an advance screening of her latest film, the two "meet cute" (obviously, he doesn't mention the blog) and she's every bit as awesome in real life as he imagined. Even though she's a movie star and he's a regular guy, she can't help but fall for him, too, and the escape from the Hollywood limelight that he provides. Can his feelings for her personally override his disdain for her acting career in the long run? And what happens when she stumbles upon his blog and finds out the truth?

That's Hollywood gold, right there. Or, at least, a heck of a lot better than NO STRINGS ATTACHED.

Ben's Top 10 Netflix Rentals of 2010

Not only was 2010 a record-breaking year for me on the big screen, but because I am an insane person, I also watched more movies via the wonders of Netflix than ever before -- a total of 120 movies, either on Blu-Ray/DVD or streaming video directly through my Blu-Ray player. I believe the previous record was 108 movies, set in 2008, so it wasn’t even close. As you might imagine, my Netflix queue is kind of on crack -- it contains a random mix of mainstream films that I missed/skipped in theatres, indies I’d never heard of, foreign films, classics, etc. -- and despite so much movie-watching, I can never seen to make a dent because I’m always adding new stuff. I do love me some Netflix... and here’s the crème de la crème of my 2010 rental experience....

(NOTE: The criteria for inclusion on this list are films that I’d either never seen before, or was revisiting for the first time in a long time. Old favorites or recent films that I decided to re-watch -- for example, KICK-ASS, which I saw in the theatre in 2010 and then rented a few months later -- do not count. Just FYI.)

10.  BEST WORST MOVIE (2009) -- Gotta admit, I’ve never really fallen into the cult that worships at the altar of TROLL 2. I’ve seen the film and acknowledge that it is quite possibly the worst movie of all time, but personally, my guilty pleasure is the original TROLL. (Fun fact: my friends and I loved this movie so much that we once made big plans to film our own version, shot-for-shot. Sadly, this never moved beyond the casting stages -- I was going to be Harry Potter, Sr.!) However, this documentary that tells the story behind TROLL 2 is truly fascinating. The making of the film and its eventual leap to cult status is one thing, but I was particularly enthralled by the reflections of the cast about their place in film history. Some of these non-actors are, um, characters to say the least. Whether you’re a TROLL 2 disciple or not, this doc is highly entertaining, funny, bizarre, semi-disturbing and even poignant at times.

9.  NEVER SLEEP AGAIN: THE ELM STREET LEGACY (2010) -- I’m a gigantic fan of the NIGHTMARE series, so I was excited to learn about this epic, four-hour documentary that examines, in extraordinary detail, each installment of the saga. I watched it one night till about 3:00 in the morning and it is seriously the most comprehensive documentary I’ve ever seen about anything. They go all-out with the behind-the-scenes stories and cast interviews, revealing and debunking of rumors & legends. Aside from interviewing such luminaries as Wes Craven, Robert Englund and Heather Langenkamp, they pulled almost every other obscure actor out of the woodwork, too (Lisa Wilcox, who played Alice in parts 4 & 5, is still hot!). An outstanding exploration of the greatest slasher film series of all time. Unlike BEST WORST MOVIE, this doc is really only relevant and enjoyable if you’re a Freddy fan -- but if that is the case, this is a must-see.

8.  THE MAGDALENE SISTERS (2002) -- A unsettling film about several Irish girls in the 1960’s, considered “fallen” women in the eyes of their families, society and the Catholic Church, who are sent to a Magdalene Asylum where they are forced to basically live in slavery and endure unspeakable hardships, mental and physical suffering in order to be “cleansed” of their supposed sins. The abuse that these girls endure is unrelenting and hard to watch. Kind of crazy to think that this sort of thing was not only the norm back in the old days, but actually lasted through the ‘90s! This movie is a major indictment of the actions and hypocrisy of the Church -- which of course is just as relevant today as it was back then, not to mention the past couple of millennia.

7.  GOMORRAH (2008) -- This exposé on the Camorra crime syndicate in Naples is not officially a documentary, but let’s put it this way: The author who wrote the book upon which the film is based has been living under intense police protection for the past few years because the mob wants him dead. Yikes. The film gets off to an explosive start as a bunch of gangsters are executed in a tanning salon, and doesn’t let up for a moment -- completely gripping even as it gets more introspective, with five intersecting storylines dealing with various individuals whose lives are affected by the Camorra in different ways. This is an unflinching look at the brutal reality of Italian organized crime -- a brilliant film, to be sure -- though personally, I’ll take the glamorized mafia as depicted in THE GODFATHER any day of the week.

6.  THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO (2009) -- I’m usually a little behind when it comes to popular book series. I didn’t start reading HARRY POTTER until shortly before the first movie came out. Same with CHRONICLES OF NARNIA and THE GOLDEN COMPASS. Hell, I’d never even read LORD OF THE RINGS until the movies were announced! And I sure as hell had never heard of the MILLENNIUM trilogy until the Swedish film adaptations came to the U.S. I missed this one in theatres but caught it on Blu-Ray and I liked it a lot. The story is gripping, characters intriguing, and I was actually taken aback by the violence, sex, brutality and general fucked-uppedness. I was expecting another young adult-type thing, and this clearly is not that. Good stuff. Unfortunately, the trilogy gets less interesting as it goes along -- but this first installment is top-notch. Very curious to see what David Fincher does with the material in the upcoming Americanized version.

5.  SHAMPOO (1975) -- At some point last year, I think after seeing NINE, which starred a crappier-than-usual Kate Hudson, I decided to watch a bunch of of Goldie Hawn movies to remind myself of how much better she is than her crappy daughter. This one, starring Warren Beatty as a womanizing hairdresser, was by far my favorite. Kind of shocked I’d never seen this movie before, because it is outstanding -- equal parts raunchy sex comedy and cautionary tale about the consequences of Free Love as the ‘60s begat the ‘70s. Beatty is at the height of his powers (pop quiz for all you ladies out there: who would you rather bone -- Beatty in the ‘70s or Clooney in the ‘10s?), Goldie is as vivacious and adorable as ever, and oh yeah, how about super-young Carrie Fisher in her movie debut?

4.  ALFIE (1966) -- Hey, another one about a ‘60s womanizer, this time starring Michael Caine in what is arguably his defining role. I re-watched this movie as part of a big Michael Caine Netflix kick, which I began after seeing the recent HARRY BROWN, a solid film in which Caine returned to his ass-kicking roots. Of course, it could be argued (and I would agree) that Caine has never stopped kicking ass and breathes life into every movie he is in, good or bad -- but that’s a discussion for another time. In this classic, Caine is at his best as the promiscuous cad who, after a series of life-altering events, begins to reassess himself in order to answer the age-old question, “What’s it all about?” Smart, funny and poignant, with a look & sound that just breathes London in the swinging ‘60s.

3.  THE WHITE RIBBON (2009) -- Winner of the Palm D’Or at Cannes and an Oscar nominee for Best Foreign Film, this is an ominous, disturbing masterpiece that delves into the darkness of humanity as a means of foreshadowing an even greater darkness still to come. Set in a small German village shortly before World War I, the story traces a series of brutal, unexplained events that send the community into a downward spiral of suspicion and fear. Featuring some incredible cinematography in stark black-and-white (really wish I had caught this one on the big screen -- it was on my radar for months but I never got around to it), this is the kind of affecting, thought-provoking film that grips you as you watch it and then doesn’t let go.

2.  THE CONVERSATION (1974) -- Francis Ford Coppola’s classic starring Gene Hackman as Harry Caul, an audio surveillance expert who is socially-awkward, paranoid and wracked with guilt over a past job that led to several deaths. While attempting to decipher a conversation between a man and a woman, he begins to suspect that the subjects may be in grave danger and a new moral quandary kicks in as he tries to uncover the truth. A riveting film, featuring some outstanding performances (Hackman, John Cazale, Teri Garr, even Harrison Ford in one of his earliest roles) and tremendous use of sound to illustrate its themes of perception vs. reality. The 1970s are often thought to be the pinnacle of American filmmaking, and this is certainly among the best. (Side note: Has any filmmaker ever had a better year than Coppola in 1974 with THE CONVERSATION and THE GODFATHER PART 2? I mean, damn.)

...and finally....

1.  RED RIDING TRILOGY (2009) -- Watch all three parts of this trilogy in one six-hour sitting and you have yourself one of the best, darkest, most complex and enthralling movie-watching experiences of the year. Originally aired on British TV and based both on actual events and a fictionalized book series, it traces the search for the infamous Yorkshire Ripper over a number of years, from several different angles, using various intersecting storylines and characters. Part noir, part crime thriller, part introspective study of human nature, the trilogy features stellar filmmaking from three directors, all of whom use different techniques and perspectives; outstanding performances from such actors as Andrew Garfield, Rebecca Hall, Sean Bean and Paddy Considine; plenty of dark and brutal visuals and unsettling events. It’s a dense work that requires lots of attention to detail, but it’s well worth the effort. My biggest movie regret of 2010 was missing this when they showed the complete trilogy at the IFC Center for like $20 -- but that is why God created the glory that is Netflix!

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Other Noteworthy Titles (in no particular order):

Barry Munday. Me and Orson Welles. Battle Royale. Cannibal Holocaust. Two of Us. The Brothers Bloom. The Cove. The Slammin' Salmon. Pirate Radio. After.Life. Tyson. Diner. Trucker. Deathtrap. Get Carter. Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. The Italian Job. Dead Ringers. I Spit On Your Grave. Audition. Dead Snow. In the Loop. Cactus Flower. The Secret in Their Eyes. Escape From New York. Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans.

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And now... The Top 10 WORST Netflix Rentals of 2010:

5.  THE EXPLODING GIRL (2009) -- This kind of pretentious Brooklyn hipster bullshit is bad enough in real life; it’s even worse in this movie about a girl with epilepsy who must deal with her feelings and whatnot. Zoe Kazan has been touted as one of the better young actresses around, but she’s going to need to do better than this.
4.  TWILIGHT: NEW MOON (2009) -- You may have noticed in a previous blog post that the most recent TWILIGHT film (which I saw on the big screen at an advance screening) did NOT make my Bottom 10 of 2010. It was bad, but surprisingly did not suck quite as much as the previous installments -- the second of which I watched on Blu-Ray earlier in the year. The worst of the series so far.
3.  HITLER MEETS CHRIST (2007) -- Based on title alone, you’d think this could be a tremendous satire/philosophical mash-up... but it fails miserably. A rambling, ultimately laughable mess of a film (written by and starring Michael Moriarty, which is odd in itself) -- an unfortunate waste of a potentially intriguing concept.
2.  HALLOWEEN II (2009) -- I’ve made no secret of my disdain for Rob Zombie’s HALLOWEEN remakes. The first one was a wildly unnecessary travesty of epic proportion, and this sequel takes that and basically takes a gigantic, wet, steaming shit upon the whole franchise. Ridiculous.
1.  TIPTOES (2003) -- Matthew McConaughey as a regular-sized person from a family of dwarfs. Kate Beckinsale as his pregnant, freaked out girlfriend. Gary Oldman digitally transformed into a dwarf!? Lots of other dwarfs, including Peter Dinklage (natch) as a French Marxist. Material that tries to be PC but ends up making fun of dwarfs half the time. Unintentional hilarity & ridiculousness. This movie is astonishingly bad -- I cannot believe this movie actually got made and, unfortunately, I cannot un-see it.

By the way, it’s also worth noting that aside from seeing 141 movies in theatres and 120 via Netflix, I also watched another 92 via miscellaneous means -- random stuff on TV, stuff from my personal movie library, etc. That’s a grand total of 353 complete movies watched in 2010. I’ll give you a moment to allow that number to sink in...... Clearly, my goal for 2011 should be to watch an average of one per day. Can it be done? Time will tell... but be sure to keep track of my progress (and the most-recent movies I’ve seen) with the little widget over there in the sidebar. Exciting!

Ben’s 2010 Movies By the Numbers

Aw yeah, it's time for one of my favorite blogs of the year, in which we go through my very detailed spreadsheets, daily planner and ticket stub album so that we may break down and examine my 2010 movie-going experience and figure out... well... I'm not exactly sure what we're figuring out, but dammit, it's fun. Ready? GO!

I saw 136 different movies in theatres in 2010... though I actually went to the movies 141 times, because I saw five movies twice each (this included TOY STORY 3, TRUE GRIT, HOT TUB TIME MACHINE, INCEPTION and AVATAR way back in January). This, my friends, is a NEW PERSONAL RECORD, breaking my previous mark of 120 set way back in 2001 (my first full year living in NYC after moving out of my parents' house in NJ). Funny thing is, in all these years, I'd only even really gotten close to breaking the record once (117 movies in 2004) -- and this year, not only did I break it, but I obliterated it! Crazy! And, I might add, I did it without the benefit of performance-enhancing drugs! Up yours, Barry Bonds!

This also marks the 10th consecutive year in which I surpassed the 100-movie mark -- a remarkable achievement, to be sure, but it is pretty much par for the course at this point.

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MONTH-BY-MONTH

January: 9
February: 10
March: 11
April: 8
May: 9
June: 10
July: 15
August: 10
September: 17
October: 16
November: 10
December: 16

In order to see 141 movies in a calendar year, a pretty intense level of consistency is required, and as you can see, I was indeed very consistent from month to month. I started off strong and never let up. By comparison, I only saw 18 movies in January, February and March in 2009 -- but this year, I saw 30! That’s a LOT for what is usually a dumping ground for crappy movies! (Wasn’t quite as bad in 2010, though -- I saw two of my Top 10 movies in February: SHUTTER ISLAND and HOT TUB TIME MACHINE.)

The closest I ever came to a "lull" was April and May -- no idea why. Summer was busy, as usual (I even saw a movie while on vacation in Las Vegas!), but the real surprises here are September and October -- I saw 33 movies between those two months, which is just ridiculous. This can be attributed to two factors: (1) A stronger-than-usual crop of films for that point in the year, including THE SOCIAL NETWORK, THE TOWN, NEVER LET ME GO, BURIED, LET ME IN, NOWHERE BOY, and more, and (2) a big influx of free advance screenings -- 11 of the 33 Sept./Oct. movies were freebies. I saw my 121st movie on November 10th, thus breaking my long-standing record, so I clearly took a "break" after that for the rest of that month. But then I kicked it into overdrive again in December, and saw my 141st & final movie on New Year’s Eve, mere hours before cracking open the bubbly. And the rest is history.

My guess? This record is unbreakable. But hey, you never know.

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BOX OFFICE

• Full price admissions: 71
• Free advance screenings: 41
• Free passes/awards programs/gift cards/etc.: 29

Here, I think, we have the most eye-opening stats of all. When someone hears about how often I go to the movies, they almost always say, "Holy shit, do you realize that you've spent X amount of dollars on movies?!" Yes, it’s true, going to the movies in NYC can be a very expensive hobby -- but as you can see, I have been able to bring the cost down considerably. Out of 141 movies, I only paid full price for 71 of them -- just over half. That is pretty amazing, and the main reason is that I saw more free advance screenings in 2010 than ever before -- I think the previous record was, like, in the low 20's. This total included such good AND bad films as HOT TUB TIME MACHINE, COP OUT, TRUE GRIT, ALICE IN WONDERLAND, HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON, SPLICE, TWILIGHT: ECLIPSE, THE SOCIAL NETWORK, TANGLED, CONVICTION, THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT, JONAH HEX and many more, and each one was $13 (or more) back in my pocket. I even saw three red carpet premieres: DINNER FOR SCHMUCKS at the Ziegfeld (where my camera had a close encounter with Paul Rudd), FROM PARIS WITH LOVE at the Ziegfeld, and best of all, THE EXPENDABLES at Planet Hollywood in Las Vegas, where I had a moment with Dolph Lundgren (as he walked by, I said, “If he dies, he dies,” and he totally heard & acknowledged me!). Special thanks to such websites as Cinemit (for whom I’ve also been doing some movie writing lately -- check’em out out!), 43kixNYC, NYC Movie Screenings, Gofobo, the random guys who hang out outside of movie theatres and hand out passes, and more!

Of course, no matter how you look at it, I still paid around $900 for those 71 full-price movies, which is more than the average American moviegoer will pay in a decade. But that sure as hell beats $1,800, right? Right? Anyone?

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DAY-BY-DAY

Monday: 8
Tuesday: 17
Wednesday: 22
Thursday: 20
Friday: 54
Saturday: 4
Sunday: 16

No major surprises here. Friday remains the biggest movie-going day of the week… though this was the first time I saw more Friday movies than there were Fridays in the year! Heh. Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays are big days for advance screenings, hence the influx of activity on those days (not to mention Free Popcorn Tuesdays at Regal theatres and Free Popcorn Wednesdays at AMC!). I guess the biggest surprise is that I only saw four movies on Saturdays! I guess I was busy doing other things? Or something? Who knew!

(Also, for the sake of curiosity, there were only two weeks in the entire year in which I didn’t see ANY movies: The week of Feb. 1-7 and the week of April 29 to May 4. Every other week, I saw at least one. Usually more. Yeah.)

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MY VARIOUS HOMES AWAY FROM HOME

AMC Empire: 28
Loews Lincoln Square: 21
Regal 42nd St. E-Walk: 14
Regal Union Square: 10
Landmark Sunshine Cinema: 9
Loews Lincoln Square IMAX: 7
Lincoln Plaza: 7
Loews 34th Street: 7
IFC Center: 5
Clearview Chelsea: 5
Coliseum Theatre: 4
Ziegfeld Theatre: 4
Loews 19th Street: 4
Village East: 3
Paris Theatre: 2
Loews Orpheum: 2
Film Forum: 2
Loews 84th Street: 2
Regal Hadley Center (NJ): 2
Angelika Film Center: 1
Pier I @ 70th Street: 1
Planet Hollywood Theatre (NV): 1

Well, well, well… looks like we’ve got ourselves a TIE for my most-visited theatre of 2010! For regular movies, the AMC Empire is tops once again -- to be expected, since my job moved to a new office that is around the corner from the place. BUT! Taking into account IMAX screenings, I also saw 28 total movies at Loews Lincoln Square! So there you have it. I like those theatres very much.

Interesting to note that I actually visited the Empire and Lincoln Square LESS often than I did in 2009 -- this is because I spread the wealth a little more in 2010. Nice to see that I visited such theatres as the Ziegfeld, IFC Center and the Paris a handful of times each -- really need to get to those theatres more often in 2011, though, especially the Paris, which is a magnificent theatre. Spent a lot of time at the E-Walk, since it, like the Empire, is right around the corner from work. Surprised that I went to Regal Union Square so often -- not a big fan of that theatre. Actually made it down to the Film Forum a couple of times, and frequently my crazy neighborhood theatre, the Coliseum, a handful of times, too (need to do that more often in ‘11, too, because not only is it 10 minutes away from home, but it’s only $9… granted it’s a shithole… but still). This also marked the first time since 2001 that I saw movies in THREE different U.S. states -- NY, NJ and Nevada. (But only two movies at the good ol’ Regal theatre in good ol’ South Plainfield, NJ... that, sadly, is a record low... haven’t seen so few movies in the state of New Jersey since, like, 1993, which was before I started keeping track of these things.)

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MISCELLANEOUS

I saw 20 double-features during the year… also a new record. As always, there were some odd/interesting/awesome/unfortunate pairings:

• THE LAST STATION and JURASSIC PARK
• THE EDGE OF DARKNESS and AVATAR
• COP OUT and SHUTTER ISLAND
• OSCAR-NOMINATED LIVE-ACTION SHORTS and OSCAR-NOMINATED ANIMATED SHORTS
• THE CRAZIES and ALICE IN WONDERLAND
• CHLOE and HOT TUB TIME MACHINE
• ROBIN HOOD and BABIES
• THE A-TEAM and SHREK FOREVER AFTER
• CYRUS and TOY STORY 3
• KNIGHT & DAY and GROWN-UPS
• I AM LOVE and WINTER’S BONE
• THE AMERICAN and GOING THE DISTANCE
• THE TOWN and NEVER LET ME GO
• THE VIRGINITY HIT and YOU WILL MEET A TALL DARK STRANGER
• I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE (2010) and I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE (1975)
• EASY A and JACKASS 3-D
• SAW 3-D and POLTERGEIST
• THE KING’S SPEECH and BLACK SWAN
• HOW DO YOU KNOW and TRON: LEGACY
• BIUTIFUL and ANOTHER YEAR

I also saw my first-ever QUADRUPLE-FEATURE, which included four very different films: THE SWITCH, PIRANHA 3-D, A FILM UNFINISHED and SCOTT PILGRIM vs. THE WORLD. You can read all about that experience in this post from August 20th!

As far as my movie-going companions in 2010… well, they were few and far between. Out of 141 movies, I saw an even 100 of them all by my lonesome. (That is way up from 2009, when I saw 63 of 108 movies alone.) Of course, this means I saw 41 movies with other people -- most often, my lovely girlfriend Rachel, with whom I saw 36 movies during the year (though that is also down from 40 in ‘09... go figure). My friends Murphy and Justine also acted as movie buddies here in NYC. Meanwhile, both times I went to the movies in NJ, it was with my friend Jill (we kept the Christmas Night Movie tradition alive for the umpteenth year in a row, but unfortunately, the Thanksgiving Night Movie tradition ended). But perhaps the craziest stat of all, at least to me: Only once -- ONCE, out of 141 movies -- did I go to the movies with more than one other person. (It was BLACK SWAN, which I saw with Rachel and her friend Alyssa.) Man... I remember back in the day when going to the movies was always a Big Event and we’d have groups of 10-20 people gathering to see such blockbusters as INDEPENDENCE DAY, MEN IN BLACK and THE LOST WORLD. Clearly those days are long gone... but I’d like to take this moment to give a tip of the cap to my movie-going compadres of yore... you guys & gals know who you are... let’s do it again someday, for old time’s sake!

COMING SOON: My Top 10 Netflix Rentals of 2010! Probably some words about the Golden Globes when that bullshit happens. All sorts of Oscar Madness when those nominations are announced. And, um, maybe, y’know, some movie reviews? Other lists? We shall see!

Ben’s Top 10 Movies of 2010

Well, friends, 2010 is a thing of the past and the time has come to reflect on the year that was. For yours truly, it was a pretty great year in all aspects of life. I lived well, ate well, loved well, played well and traveled well (VEGAS, BABY!)... and, oh yeah, I saw a LOT of movies. It was a record-breaking year for me in that department, as I went to the movies a grand total of 141 times, shattering my old record of 120 set back in 2001. Ridiculous, yes, and I’m not quite sure how the hell I did it -- especially since, quality-wise, the first year of the ‘10s was a bit of a mixed bag. Seems like for every good movie, there was a bad one... and for every great movie, there was a REALLY bad one. Nevertheless, compiling my Top 10 list was a difficult task because the crème de la crème was quite good indeed. Let’s take a look, shall we?

10. BLUE VALENTINE -- I had to think long and hard about this one, as there were six or seven films I was considering for this spot. But in the end, I decided to go with this heartbreaking look at a relationship gone horribly awry. Whereas the movie ONCE is perhaps the quintessential example of the thunderbolt’s wonders, this movie may be the complete opposite -- it depicts the thunderbolt’s glorious strike (you can practically see the sparks when Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams put on their soon-to-be-legendary song-and-dance routine outside her apartment door), only to examine in excruciating detail how it can unravel over time in less-than-ideal circumstances. A raw, aching film featuring two phenomenal performances.

9. SHUTTER ISLAND -- Unquestionably the most underrated and misunderstood movie of the year. Many people were underwhelmed by the “twist,” to the point where I’ve actually seen this movie on several Bottom 10 lists. Utterly preposterous. What many don't seem to realize is that the so-called twist is not meant to be a twist at all! We're meant to know what’s going on from the very beginning. The film's true focus is the journey that Leonardo DiCaprio & Co. must take in order to figure things out for themselves. And what a journey it is -- this a fantastic character study, tremendously acted, beautifully shot and intricately constructed by Martin Scorcese, whose genius and mastery of his craft should never be questioned.

8. KICK-ASS -- In a disappointing year for superhero movies (sorry, IRON MAN 2), this insane tale stands alone and asks the question: How much ass does KICK-ASS kick when Kick-Ass kicks ass? The answer is... A WHOLE LOT OF ASS. Such an awesome movie -- all at once ridiculous, thrilling, intense, violent, hilarious, raunchy, bloody, completely outrageous and loaded with memorable characters, all of whom kick serious ass indeed. The most memorable, of course, is everyone’s favorite foul-mouthed 11-year-old vigilante, Hit Girl, whose ass-kicking exploits have already become the stuff of legend. The great thing about this movie is that it knows exactly what it wants to be and exactly the audience it wants to play for -- and the result is one of the most wildly entertaining movie experiences of the year. Did I mention it kicks ass?

7. THE SOCIAL NETWORK -- At first, the very concept of a movie about Facebook seemed ridiculous and way too premature... but now, it is clear that David Fincher and Aaron Sorkin have created not only one of the best movies of the year, but a movie that wholly represents the fast-paced, detached-from-reality mindset of the early 21st century. The plot unfurls like a whirlwind. Sorkin's script is so snappy & exciting, loaded with incredible dialogue and confrontations so blistering that it often feels like an action movie. Fincher’s visual style fits the story perfectly -- this film could easily have taken place in the same dark universe as SEVEN, FIGHT CLUB and ZODIAC (a frightening thought). Jesse Eisenberg gives a career-defining performance, Justin Timberlake steals the show, and Andrew Garfield proves his acting chops once again (see also NEVER LET ME GO and RED RIDING (1974) -- what a year the future Spider-Man had). Mark Zuckerberg’s origin story is as good as any superhero we’ve ever seen -- LIKE!

6. INCEPTION -- Christopher Nolan has officially established himself as one of the most visionary filmmakers working today, and this might be his greatest achievement yet. So incredibly dense and full of intricacies that it’s impossible to piece everything together with one viewing. Nolan is a master craftsman, wielding layers of the subconscious and crazy, at times nightmarish, visuals with unsettling ease. Great performances from Leo (another great year for him), Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ellen Page, Marion Cotillard and all the rest (including Pete Postlethwaite in one of his final roles -- playing a dying old man, no less). Whether you love or hate the ambiguous ending (I loved it), there can be no denying that this was one of the most unforgettable movie experiences of the year. Amazing, thundering score, too -- one time I fell asleep on the subway while listening to it and holy crap, it was surreal.

5. HOT TUB TIME MACHINE -- Here we have the entry that pretty much guarantees that I never get a real job writing about movies for a living. Friends, I shit you not when I say that this is the funniest movie of the year, hands down. I saw it twice in theatres and several times on Blu-Ray and it gets funnier every time. Not only is it absurdly ridiculous in the best possible way, hilariously raunchy and completely insane, but it’s also a brilliant, at times beat-for-beat, remake of BACK TO THE FUTURE (think about that as you watch -- it’s uncanny) and a picture-perfect homage to the ‘80s. It is loaded with nostalgia and tips of the cap to movies, TV, music and pop culture -- sometimes cheesy and over-the-top, but often subtle, in the background, or totally unexpected. Great comedic performances all around, anchored, of course, by John Cusack. He was the man in the ‘80s and is still the man to this day -- and in this movie he got to be the man in both decades at the same time. “Great white buffalo…”

4. SCOTT PILGRIM vs. THE WORLD -- Another triumph for Edgar Wright, this movie is a stylized geek’s paradise, loaded with old-school Nintendo sound effects, whip-snappy dialogue, crazy non-sequiturs (“Bread makes you fat?!”) and ringer t-shirts, and bursting with wildly inventive visuals, memorable characters and an infectious punk-pop vibe. It’s Michael Cera’s best performance ever -- very much his typical character, but more nuanced, aggressive and self-confident in spite of himself. Such a tough call to choose between super-cool Ramona Flowers and super-loyal Knives Chau (personally, I prefer the Blu-Ray alternate ending). The battle scenes with the League of Evil Exes are epic. The movie is pure, unbridled fun and a non-stop whirlwind of awesomeness. Like KICK-ASS, it knows what kind of movie it wants to be and wears its heart on its sleeve -- kudos to Edgar Wright for having his finger firmly on the pulse of geekdom. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I am totally in lesbians with this movie!

3. HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS: PART 1 -- To say that this penultimate installment of the Potter series is the best yet would be overly simplistic. In many ways, it is a miracle of a film: After ten years and six films, all the stars have aligned and they've figured out how to make a perfect Harry Potter film. All of the techniques & ideas that they’ve been tweaking and experimenting with have fallen into place. Tremendous acting, direction & writing. Truly epic in scope. Tonally perfect (that is to say, two and a half hours of unrelenting darkness, horror, misery and pain -- this is a harsh film in every sense). The perfect balance of near-slavish devotion to the book and thinking outside the box (love the Harry/Hermione dance scene). Easily the best musical score since John Williams left the series. Gorgeous cinematography. More brilliant casting decisions. Fixing continuity issues. The list goes on and the film is a triumph. And to think, it’s only half a film! Midnight on July 15th cannot get here soon enough!

2. TRUE GRIT -- Honestly, is there anything that the Coen Bros. can’t do? They seem to have entered their own golden age of filmmaking over the past few years, and this reimagining of the classic Western is one of their best concoctions yet. While there’s still room in the world for the John Wayne classic, the Coens tell a much grittier tale, remaining faithful to the original while making it with much their own. I actually just started reading the Charles Portis novel and it is clear that the Coens were born to tell this story -- the dialogue, situations and bizarre characters are right up their alley, and they do it justice in a way that the original film could not. Jeff Bridges may not be the Duke, but he IS the Dude -- and he now owns the role of Rooster Cogburn for all time and deserves his second straight Oscar nod. The supporting cast is just as stellar, including Matt Damon at his comedic best, Josh Brolin and the triumphant return of Barry Pepper -- but this movie really belongs to newcomer Hallie Steinfeld, who portrays Maddie Ross with a steel-hearted determination that is just astonishing and one of the great performances of the year. An amazing film, wildly entertaining, thought-provoking in the end -- it all adds up to another masterpiece to add to the Coens’ collection.

...and finally....

1. TOY STORY 3 -- Was there any doubt? Even if this film is taken on a purely surface level, scene by scene, moment by moment, it is the best movie of the year. But delve inside those scenes and moments and there are so many layers of brilliance. From the epic opening action sequence to the montage of Andy growing up (complete with the ominous, abbreviated ending to “You’ve Got a Friend in Me”)... the look on Woody’s face when it is revealed that his old love, Bo Peep, is no longer with them... the introduction of Lotso, one of the most heinous and fully-realized movie villains of the year... incredible new characters like flamboyant Ken, the Fisher-Price phone that is like something out of an old time crime noir, the sad clown, and the turmoil of Big Baby... the thrilling escape from the daycare center (especially Mr. Potato Head’s surreal transformation into Mr. Tortilla Head)... Buzz’s hilarious Spanish mode and his heartstring-tugging chemistry with Jessie... the soul-crushing look of finality that comes over the toys as they resign themselves to inescapable death in the trash incinerator, followed by ecstatic relief as they are saved by “the Claaaaw”... the raw emotion as Andy passes down his beloved toys, one by one, to a new generation... I could go on all night, but just thinking about this movie makes me all verklempt. I cried both times I saw it in the theatre, and then when I watched it the other day on Blu-Ray, I lost my shit completely -- I’m talkin’ full-body heaving sobs. I’m a guy who puts tremendous emphasis on nostalgia, and no movie has ever touched me so deeply and on such a fundamental level. The TOY STORY trilogy, as a whole, is a work of staggering genius -- quite possibly second only to the original STAR WARS trilogy -- and this as perfect a third act as I’ve ever seen. Pixar has proven time and time again that they are geniuses, but now, they have proven that they may in fact be gods walking the Earth. Like the first TOY STORY in 1995 and TOY STORY 2 in 1999, TOY STORY 3 is the very best movie of 2010, and friends, it’s not even close. To infinity... and beyond!

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Other Noteworthy Titles (in no particular order):

Never Let Me Go. TRON: Legacy. Tangled. Splice. Life During Wartime. The King’s Speech. Another Year. Machete. Let Me In. The American. Nowhere Boy. You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger. Buried. Somewhere. Micmacs. Cyrus. The Ghost Writer. The Illusionist. The Square. Winter’s Bone. Rabbit Hole. Paranormal Activity 2. The Secret of Kells. It’s Kind of a Funny Story. The Fighter. Catfish. Greenberg. Get Low. A Film Unfinished. Waking Sleeping Beauty. How to Train Your Dragon. Megamind. Chloe. Flipped. Waiting for “Superman.” Easy A. 127 Hours. The Town. The Human Centipede: First Sequence.

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And now... The Top 10 WORST Films of 2010:

10. SKYLINE -- Slight tip of the cap to this movie for some decent CGI on a small budget, but the story, characters, acting, dialogue, etc., are so bad that you can’t even enjoy it on a camp level. Easily the worst alien invasion flick in recent memory.
9. ROBIN HOOD -- Pains me to see a Ridley Scott movie on this list, but this film, which foolishly attempts to intertwine the classic tale with historical fact, is long, boring, uninteresting, miscast (don’t blame Russell & Cate) and an overall epic fail.
8. COP OUT -- The most embarrassingly unfunny “comedy” of the year. No idea what the heck Kevin Smith should be doing with his flailing career at this point, but this is most definitely not it.
7. THE RUNAWAYS -- As if the TWILIGHT films weren’t proof enough that Kristen Stewart is the worst actress alive, here’s another example. This biopic the revolutionary '70s girl band is so laughably bad, I wouldn’t be surprised to see it playing at midnight at the Village East before long.
6. FROM PARIS WITH LOVE -- Terrible plot, terrible acting (time to pack it in, Travolta), terrible dialogue, terrible twists, terrible gun fights and car chases... this movie is a perfect storm of crap. Special kudos Jonathan Rhys-Meyers for giving quite possibly the single worst performance of the year. Stunningly bad.
5. ALICE IN WONDERLAND -- An absolute disaster of a film. Lame visuals, terrible use of 3-D, plodding story, unnecessary LOTR-esque battle scenes... the list goes on. This is the final nail in the shared coffin of Tim Burton and Johnny Depp, as far as I’m concerned. Time to break them up for good!
4. A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET -- Jackie Earle Haley filling Robert Englund’s shoes was an inspired choice, but beyond that, this remake is nothing but a cheap, insulting rehash of one of my favorite horror institutions. A travesty on par with Rob Zombie’s HALLOWEEN debacles -- maybe even worse.
3. VALENTINE’S DAY -- An unfunny celebrity clusterfuck that isn't the slightest bit endearing, let alone romantic. My girlfriend and I actually saw this on Valentine's Day and we were forced to rethink the state of our relationship. Okay, just kidding about that... but seriously, everyone involved in this trash should be ashamed of themselves.
2. DEVIL -- As I revealed in a previous blog post, the big plot twist of this schlock is that M. Night Shyamalan is, in fact, the Devil himself. That can be the only explanation for how he can be allowed to keep coming up with movies that are this horrendously bad. Zero redeeming value here -- at least THE HAPPENING begat the SNL “Mark Wahlberg Talks to Animals” sketch.
1. JONAH HEX -- Quite possibly the worst comic book movie of all time (yes, bad enough to rival BATMAN & ROBIN, which at least has camp value). It’s just a complete mess from top to bottom -- senseless plot, horrendous dialogue and bad acting across the board (sorry, Josh Brolin). It has absolutely nothing going for it and I can’t even imagine the comic being remotely good based on what little I know about it from this movie. And to top it all off, it looks like it may very well have signaled the final death knell for Megan Fox’s sexy-but-short-lived career (though I guess some might call that a good thing).

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And now... Some Random Movie Thoughts!

Biggest Guilty Pleasure: Not sure if it can be considered a “guilty” pleasure since it’s in my Top 10 of the year, but I’m sure that HOT TUB TIME MACHINE will be part of my regular movie-watching rotation for a long, long time. I’ve been geeking out over TRON: LEGACY for months, had countless visual orgasms while watching the movie and even went out and bought the Wii game -- TRON rules! THE EXPENDABLES is a terrible film but holds a special place in my heart because I saw it at the Las Vegas premiere and had a moment of interaction with Dolph Lundgren on the red carpet. And then there’s SPLICE, the sci-fi camp classic of the year, a glorious, bat-shit insane conglomeration of FRANKENSTEIN, THE FLY, JURASSIC PARK and SPECIES that fills me with fucked-up glee every time I think about it -- which is often, since I have a plush Baby Dren doll sitting on my bookcase as we speak.

Most Pleasant Surprise: Like many people, I was skeptical of the concept of a Facebook movie at this point in time, but THE SOCIAL NETWORK proved us all wrong. Against all odds, LET ME IN turned out to be nearly as good as the original Swedish film, LET THE RIGHT ONE IN (thanks again to Hit Girl herself, Chloe Moretz). BURIED proved that Ryan Reynolds trapped in a box for 90 minutes could make for a riveting cinematic experience. MACGRUBER was way funnier than it had any business being, considering it’s based on an SNL skit whose very punchline is the fact that it’s only 30 seconds long. Lastly, I begrudgingly must admit that THE KARATE KID remake, while still quite possibly the most unnecessary remake in the history of film, actually turned out okay!

Biggest Disappointment: This award goes to IRON MAN 2 which took the awesomeness of the first film -- one of the best superhero films ever -- and turned it into a gigantic clusterfuck that even Scarlett Johansson in a skintight bodysuit couldn’t fully redeem. You’d think that a comedy starring Steve Carell and Paul Rudd would be the epitome of hilarity, but DINNER FOR SCHMUCKS proved otherwise. THE OTHER GUYS was also a disappointment -- I’ve come to expect better things from Ferrell & McKay. GROWN UPS was an insult to Chris Farley’s memory. Unlike the last time Ridley Scott and Russell Crowe teamed up, I was NOT entertained by ROBIN HOOD. And ALICE IN WONDERLAND marked the last time I will ever be the slightest bit intrigued by a Tim Burton/Johnny Depp collaboration. And then there’s BLACK SWAN... more on that in a bit….

Most Underrated Movie: I’ve already talked about the great SHUTTER ISLAND -- haters can kiss my buttocks. NEVER LET ME GO just missed my Top 10, but tomorrow I could regret that decision -- fantastic, heartbreaking film and some of the best and most subtle sci-fi we’ve seen in years -- add it to your Netflix now. YOU WILL MEET A TALL DARK STRANGER isn’t quite as great as recent Woody Allen efforts such as VICKY CRISTINA BARCELONA or MATCH POINT, but it’s a damn good film and I have been astonished to see it on people’s Bottom 10 lists. I remember when THE AMERICAN came out, there was Oscar buzz all over the place... what happened? It’s a great film -- feels like something out of the ‘70s -- and Clooney is at the top of his game. Sofia Coppola’s SOMEWHERE is way better than anyone is giving it credit for -- a perfect companion piece to LOST IN TRANSLATION. I can’t believe everyone has forgotten about Robert Duvall’s spectacular performance in GET LOW, one of the feel-good movies of the year. Rob Reiner's best in years, FLIPPED, came and went way too quickly. Haven’t really heard anyone say a word about NOWHERE BOY, a tremendous biopic of young John Lennon that should make a brilliant double-feature with BACKBEAT. And LIFE DURING WARTIME… well, I wouldn’t have expected Todd Solondz’s sequel to HAPPINESS to get much mainstream praise… but it also very nearly made it into my Top 10... maybe I’m just sick in the head.

Most Overrated Movie: So, yeah... BLACK SWAN. I honestly can’t remember the last time I disagreed with the general public this much about a movie. Eighty-eight percent fresh on RottenTomatoes.com… Oscar buzz across the board… it just doesn’t make any sense. THIS IS NOT A GOOD MOVIE! In fact, it’s a bad movie. It’s a LAUGHABLY bad movie. I love Darren Aronofsky’s previous work as much as the next guy, but comparing this movie to Hitchcock and Polanski? Come on. This was a misstep. Natalie Portman is not a good actress, and at times her acting is bad to a Star Warsian degree. Nothing about this movie is anywhere near as good as the world is making it out to be (Exception: Barbara Hershey, who portrays Natalie's mother as a mad combo of Mommie Dearest and Carrie's mom). Take away the sexy stuff and what’s left? Nothing. It’s just insane. The whole world has gone insane around me. I am fully prepared to turn into a seething ball of rage come Oscar Night.

Five Movies I Didn’t See and Do Not Regret Missing: Believe it or not, despite seeing 141 movies in 2010, I actually did show some restraint from time to time. I had no desire to see BURLESQUE. THE TOURIST makes me question Johnny Depp’s sanity. The very thought of LITTLE FOCKERS makes me throw up in my mouth a little. The only way GULLIVER’S TRAVELS could be worthwhile is if Jack Black uses the paycheck to get Tenacious D back on the road. And let us never mention YOGI BEAR again (unless of course it’s to talk about this fake alternate ending).

Animation Domination: Pretty outstanding year for animated films, starting, of course, with the best movie of the year, animated or otherwise, TOY STORY 3. Hail Pixar! Walt Disney Animation had a winner, too, with TANGLED, the best Disney Princess movie in many, many years. Meanwhile, Dreamworks may have finally figured their shit out, because HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON and MEGAMIND were both pretty great -- easily the best stuff that studio has come up with so far. Some stiff competition from the arthouse scene, too, in the form of the French film THE ILLUSIONIST. I also saw last year’s surprise Oscar nominee, THE SECRET OF KELLS, and it was very good indeed. On the other end of the spectrum, DESPICABLE ME and SHREK FOREVER AFTER were both shite.

The Horror... the Horror: A bit of a mixed year for the horror genre, with such stinkers as Eli Roth’s THE LAST EXORCISM, the bullshit NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET remake, the fun-but-not-good SAW 3-D, and THE CRAZIES, which I barely remember. However, there were some bright spots: We’ve already talked about the mad genius of SPLICE, and LET ME IN was extremely effective. What the I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE remake lost in social commentary, it made up for with extra craziness and sheer brutality. FROZEN was a concept-horror film (dumbasses get stuck on ski lift for the weekend) that worked very well. And last, but not least, there’s THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE: FIRST SEQUENCE, which must be seen to be believed… and then you will wish that you could un-see it… but guess what… YOU CAN’T!

Score-apallooza: This was a remarkably fruitful year for movie scores, too, from Zimmer’s thundering INCEPTION to Desplat’s dark HARRY POTTER to Daft Punk’s relentless TRON: LEGACY to Trent Reznor’s SOCIAL NETWORK to Rachel Portman’s haunting NEVER LET ME GO. I’ve had at least one theme from all of these scores stuck in my head at one time or another… all good stuff.

Worst Oscar Bait: LOVE AND OTHER DRUGS didn’t know what the hell kind of movie it was supposed to be, so in the end the marketing campaign just focused on the Anne Hathaway nudity. Clint Eastwood’s HEREAFTER was aptly named because it felt exactly like a black, lifeless eternity of nothingness. And Annette Bening may actually have a shot at Oscar gold this year, because ain’t no way her nemesis Hilary Swank is getting nominated for the ridiculous pile of slop that is CONVICTION.

Two Belated “Fuck Yous” to the Bush Administration: GREEN ZONE (starring Matt Damon as a soldier who uncovers the truth about the search for WMDs) and FAIR GAME (starring Naomi Watts as a CIA agent who cover is blown after her NY Times reporter husband accuses the government of lying about those same WMDs) were both dramatized accounts of real political events, some of which actually happened and some of which were only purported to have happened -- but let’s face it, it’s probably all true -- the Bush administration was so fucked up!

Welcome to the Third Dimension: Thanks to AVATAR, the 3-D fad is in full swing, for better or worse. TRON: LEGACY was perhaps the most eye-popping use of the the technology I’ve seen -- what an incredible immersive experience that was. Believe it or not, as far as live-action movies are concerned, JACKASS 3-D was second-best -- hilarious stuff -- closely followed by PIRANHA 3-D, which narrowed the technology down to the very basics (that is to say, lots of blood & gore & bouncing boobs & butts). Meanwhile, CLASH OF THE TITANS, SAW 3-D, ALICE IN WONDERLAND and THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: THE VOYAGE OF THE DAWN TREADER were all examples of bad post-conversion and all-around misuse of technology. And then of course there were the animated films, which usually fare better in this format. This was especially true for TOY STORY 3 -- God, that climactic scene in the trash incinerator still gives me chills. TANGLED looked amazing, too -- the lantern festival was one of the year’s most jaw-dropping visuals. HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON and MEGAMIND also looked fantastic. On the other hand, not only were DESPICABLE ME and SHREK FOREVER AFTER shite, but the 3-D added absolutely nothing to the experience other than more dollars out of people’s pockets (but not mine, ‘cause I saw’em for free).

Revival Madness: Aside from all the new releases, I also saw more revivals and special screenings of old films than ever before. The pièce de résistance was probably METROPOLIS at the Film Forum, complete with 20 minutes of footage that they found in a cave somewhere, or something like that -- it was an extraordinary movie experience. I also saw BACK TO THE FUTURE at a special screening to promote its Blu-Ray release, and it was fun as hell. POLTERGEIST at midnight at the Sunshine was super-creepy -- it was the first time I’d ever seen those images that have scared me for the past 28 years on the big screen. THE NEVERENDING STORY projected onto a giant inflatable screen on the Hudson River pier was the best birthday present I could have asked for. I kept my legs crossed for a week after seeing a double-feature of I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE -- the new remake followed by the ‘70s classic. And lastly, I saw one of my most beloved movies of all time, JURASSIC PARK, with a midnight Sunshine crowd full of geeks who were totally into it and it was right up my alley.

And that’s that. Thoughts? Questions? Criticisms? Concerns for my mental stability and overall well-being? What are YOUR picks for the best and worst movies of 2010? Gather ‘round, friends, and let us discuss....

TRON: LEGACY Will Make Sweet Love to Your Eyeballs

My relationship with TRON goes back to the early ‘80s, but it wasn’t so much because of the movie -- it was because of the awesome handheld video game that I played constantly as a five-year-old. I’d seen the movie, but my young mind didn’t quite grasp its complexities at the time. The game, however, I loved -- so I knew all about light cycle races, disc wars and the Master Control Program from an early age. As I got older, I rediscovered the movie and appreciated it for the groundbreaking slice of awesome that it is.

And now, 28 years later, Disney gives us a sequel, TRON: LEGACY. I saw it last night in glorious IMAX 3D, and it was a sight to behold. Definitely one of the great visual cinematic experiences I’ve ever had -- the kind of movie where you sit there with your jaw hanging open the entire time, where you can probably watch the movie 100 times and never see everything there is to see. It takes the iconic imagery of TRON and pumps it up to ridiculous levels of magnificence, while dutifully expanding on the canon for a new generation. This has been a topsy-turvy year for 3D technology -- there have been some winners (TOY STORY 3, HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON and TANGLED) and some big losers (CLASH OF THE TITANS, SHREK 4 and the new NARNIA) -- but if you can only pay to see one movie in 3D for the foreseeable future (preferably IMAX, ideally on the 80’ x 100’ screen at Loews Lincoln Square), it should be this one.

First-time director Joseph Kosinski does a fantastic job of treating the source material with reverence and the movie is loaded with iconic visuals. When Sam Flynn, the troubled, orphaned son of long-missing Kevin Flynn, first enters his father’s arcade and unsheathes the classic TRON arcade game, it’s a cool geek moment -- and this film is loaded with many, many such moments. The Disc Wars are particularly awesome and the updated Light Cycles and Recognizers are off-the-charts cool. Insanely detailed scenery, neon lights everywhere and adorning everything, hot chicks in tight white bodysuits… this movie is an extravaganza and defies description. Hell, even the “Walt Disney Pictures” intro is TRON-ized and earned applause from the electric crowd. And the whole thing is driven by a relentless, pounding, epic score by Daft Punk that is among the best and most essential I’ve heard all year (and this has been a remarkably good year for movie scores).

But the soul of this franchise is Jeff Bridges, thankfully reprising his roles as both the creator of the Grid, Kevin Flynn, and his rogue creation, Clu. Seriously, is there a cooler actor these days… maybe ever? He has long been the man (or the Dude, as the case may be), and he finally won his first Oscar last year for the excellent CRAZY HEART, but this year, between the Coen Bros.’ incredible TRUE GRIT (for which I believe he should win his second Oscar) and TRON, he continues to add to his legend. He is just the epitome of all that which is cool. Seeing his younger self on screen (thanks to the same technology they used in BENJAMIN BUTTON -- the only good thing to come from that movie) is nothing short of astonishing. Also great to see Tron himself, Bruce Boxleitner, back in action -- if Bridges is the soul of the franchise, then Boxleitner is the heart. Garrett Hedlund does a serviceable job as Sam, Michael Sheen is solid as a flamboyant, mysterious nightclub owner, and Olivia Wilde is smoking hot as Flynn disciple Quorra (though personally, I was digging supermodel Beau Garrett as one of the sexy sirens even more).

Story-wise, the movie is fairly basic… but it’s basic in the same way that AVATAR was basic, which in turn was basic in the same way that STAR WARS was basic. That is to say, they all have simple storylines, relatable archetype characters and easy-to-follow plots, the purpose of which is to draw the general public into new worlds that have all sorts of exciting, crazy, complex ideas bubbling under the surface. STAR WARS fleshed out its ideas in later installments, once the public was sucked in -- I’m guessing that is Cameron’s plan for his AVATAR sequels, and what Disney has in store for TRON, too. The original TRON actually has a very complicated story, which, combined with the groundbreaking special effects, made for a polarizing experience -- either you got it and loved it, or you didn’t.  I don’t want to say that TRON: LEGACY dumbs down the story, because there’s still a lot of complex stuff going on… but it definitely simplifies things and makes it more accessible for general consumption. This is not your computer geek cult favorite TRON anymore -- this is something that Disney hopes will finally become a major franchise.

And frankly, I hope it works, because I’d very much like to return to the Grid in the not-too-distant future.  In this geek’s view, TRON: LEGACY very much lives up to the hype. It’s a feast for the eyes that provided me with innumerable visual orgasms during the course of its two hours. It has a simple-but-engaging story that should appeal to old-school Tron geeks and newcomers alike. And certainly, if you ARE one of those Tron geeks, this movie should get your heart a-fluttering. Tron Rules!

Now, somebody please go on eBay and get me this for Christmas:

Please? I’ve been a good boy this year....